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Online Dating Magazine > Self Improvement > Thoughtfulness and Karma

Karma and the Art of Being Thoughtful
by Joe Tracy, publisher of Online Dating Magazine

Thoughtfulness is one of the most amazing virtues that a person can possess and if you are lucky enough in life to find someone who has this trait, you'll find it it to be equivalent of winning the lottery. Hold on to that ticket!

A person who is thoughtful is consistently thinking about the comfort of the people around him/her. Simply possessing and practicing this trait vastly increases a person's attractiveness and appreciation from others.

Publicly, thoughtful people have been known to:

1) Let you merge in front of them on the freeway.

2) Let you in front of them in the grocery line when you have fewer items.

3) Pay for your bus fare when you were short.

4) Put money in your parking meter when they see it has reached zero and you may be ticketed.

5) Take a picture of you and your family for you when you're on vacation.

A person who does random acts of kindness, in a thoughtful and non-rewarding way, has developed his/her karma to the point of being a "great catch" in the dating world. Take the following scenario:

I once knew a couple (we'll call them Ann and Robert) or were both very thoughtful people and it showed in their relationship:

- When he'd go on a long trip, by car, Ann would pack him little gifts and he'd have to unwrap one at each gas stop (making the trip much more enjoyable).

- When they'd go to a movie theater, Robert would put his hand between her arm and the hard armrest so that she was more comfortable.

- Ann would create a list of all the things she loved about him and randomly email those to him.

- When she had a headache, Robert would rub her head without being asked.

Constantly this couple was doing things for each other to increase the other's comfort level and happiness. And that's exactly what thoughtfulness is: "showing heed for the well-being or happiness of others and a propensity for anticipating their needs or wishes" (American Heritage Dictionary).

This best thing about thoughtfulness is that it is a virtue that can be learned. Not many people possess it, but those who do are true "diamonds in the rough". You can be one of these diamonds. Here's how:

Learn About Karma
Karma is the belief and reality that the amount of joy you bring others in life equates to the amount of joy you will receive in life. It's like "cause and effect" - when you cause someone else to be unhappy, the effect is that you will be unhappy in life. When you cause someone happiness, the effect is that more happiness will find its way into your life. So by doing random acts of kindness towards others, your Karma level increases, and your life is much more balanced and happy as a result.

Recite the Golden Rule Before Taking Action
The golden rule states that you should "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." Keep this at the forefront of your mind at all times. When you're constantly thinking about others happiness and doing random acts of kindness, you'll find your happiness increasing along with the amount of random acts of kindness that are returned to you. Realize, understand, accept, and appreciate that you are doing these random acts of kindness out of a genuine desire to make the world around you better and not because you want things in return.

Start with a Karma List
Because being thoughtful is a learned trait, it's important to track your progress until you get to a point of doing thoughtful things all the time without having to think about it. Do this by creating a "Karma List". Specifically list three things you are going to do every day to help someone else and leave items #4 and #5 blank to fill in at the end of the day from "on the spot" acts of kindness you did. Here's an example:

Monday"s Karma List:

____ 1) Mail an "I love you" card to my girlfriend's home address.

____ 2) Go to lunch at Taco Bell and at the Drive-Thru, pay for the person's meal in the car behind me.

____ 3) Send an email to my coworker, Mike, letting him know what a great job he did on the report.

____ 4)

____ 5)

Note that with item #1, you are doing something for someone you love for no reason other than to express that love. Your partner won't be expecting to receive something in the mail from you (particularly if you live together or close by) and her week will be much brighter and full of cheer when she receives your act of kindness in the mail. Item #2 is an act of kindness you are doing for a stranger; this is vital to improving who you are. Item #3 expresses appreciation to someone else; in this case a coworker, going out of your way to say kind words of appreciation for something the person did. Items #4 and #5 are intentionally blank, because during the course of the day I need to do at least two unscripted random acts of kindness and fill them in at the end of the day.

Follow this plan strictly for 30 days and you'll find that being kind to others has become a habit that no longer needs to be scripted. You'll be 500% more happy with your life and others will be more attracted to you as a person who always puts the needs of others above yourself.

Part of learning to be thoughtful is having great humility (humbleness). Never flaunt what you do or seek attention for it. Be quick to give credit to others. Build other people up and they will build you up. The most important lesson you will learn through being thoughtful is that you have truly made this world a better place because of your presence in it. And a life of meaning is the single greatest reward that can be bestowed upon anyone.



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