Lizette Mizelle is a funny stand-up comedian who is gaining in popularity. She has appeared on several TV shows and has even opened for acts like Dana Carvey. On the plus side, all of her acts are clean, making them “family friendly” and easy to share. In this particular routine, Lizette Mizelle starts off by talking about Verizon then Bluetooth. She talks about how hard it is to hear someone on Bluetooth and as an example, relates her conversation with a guy she met via online dating. We’ve published a transcript of the online dating portion below the video.

Lizette Mizelle’s Online Dating Comedy Routine

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Transcript of Online Dating Portion of Lizette Mizelle’s online dating comedy routine:

Seriously, guys, I have the worst bluetooth ever. It’s like “reception optional”. And it’s not helping my internet dating situation, either. Because I’ll tell you what. My “match” called me from his cheapy old headset and this is what he said… he’s like:

“I’m 35. I’m from Tahoe. But uh, I’m missing a leg.”

Now I got excited, because what I heard was, “I’m 35. I’m from Tahoe. I have a boat at the lake.”

So I said, “Great. I bet you single ski!”

And he said, “very funny”

And I said, “well, that’s because I’m a comedian.”

He said, “great, ’cause I’m a Canadian too.”

I said, “I did not know you did stand up.”

He said, “Well of course I can stand up. I have a leg to stand on.”

I said, “I’m sorry. It’s hard because I have this ear piece.”

He said, “That’s OK. Because I have herpes too!”

And I was like, “Well, at least you’re not missing a leg!”