Online Dating Newsletter
Volume 1, Number 6 - July 21, 2004
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Table of Contents
1. From the Editor
2. Creative Date Ideas: Go for a Glider Ride
3. Online Dating Tips: Remember the 20 to 1 Rule
4. Relationship Tips: Learn About Your Partner
5. Relationship Quote of the Week
6. Inspirational Quote of the Week
7. Romantic Ideas: The Love Classifieds
8. News: True Serious About Members Single Status
9. Feature Link: How to Stay Clear of Married Men

From the Editor
Last week I noted LavaLife as one of the few online dating services that allow non-paying members to be able to read and respond to messages a paid member sent, without having to fork over money to read the message. Today I want to mention another service that follows this same philosophy - Romantic Planet.

Romantic Planet is a smaller online dating service that is doing a lot of things right. Their service is on par with most bigger services and they don't try to rob you by charging outrageous prices every month for their service (only $14.95 a month), but best of all, when a paid member sends a message to a non-paying member, that person can read the message and respond. Romantic Planet is a little difficult to learn, but once you do, you'll likely appreciate their style.

It is my goal to continue to highlight some of the online dating services that don't charge non-paying members to read a message. So if you know of one you like, email me the details via jtracy@onlinedatingmagazine.com.

This edition of the Online Dating Newsletter contains quite a few more fun tips, advice, and articles. You'll find one of my favorite creative date ideas in this issue - the Glider ride.

May you soar to new heights in your relationships,

Joe Tracy, editor
Online Dating Newsletter

P.S. The Online Dating Newsletter will be on "hiatus" for several months as we move our headquarters to another state and make many feature changes and adjustments to the Online Dating Newsletter Website. Expect the newsletter to return in 2005 on a consistent basis with some new and exciting features.

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Creative Date Ideas: Go for a Glider Ride
One of the most thrilling and creative dates you can arrange for you and your date is a glider ride. Glider rides, offered in most states, are a high-soaring adventure that start with a plane towing your glider (which has a pilot) high into the air and letting it go to glide across the sky. This concept offers spectacular views and the thrill of silently soaring amongst the clouds. Rides last anywhere from 15 -45 minutes and cost anywhere from $75 to $200. Yet the memories of such a creative date and fun adventure are priceless. (SOURCE: Online Dating Newsletter - www.onlinedatingnewsletter.com)

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Online Dating Tips: Remember the 20 to 1 Rule
As an online dater, you may get frustrated when you send out a message and get no response. After this happens several times, a person can begin to feel that something is wrong with them and/or their profile. But this isn't the case, because it happens to most everyone. Keep in mind the 20 to 1 rule. In general, it takes 20 inquiries to 20 different people for you to get 1 response. As long as you see this as the norm, then you can be confident in knowing that you don't have the plague. :-)

There are some things you can do to increase the 20 to 1 ratio:

Make your message more personal.
Specifically ask questions based on things you read about the person in his/her profile.

Don't be vulgar or rude.
The biggest complaint from female online daters is that most men send vulgar, crude, rude, or stupid messages. This is a major turn-off to them and a good way to get you on their "ignore" list. Make sure your message is respectful, personal, and intelligent.

Don't talk about yourself too much.
The focus of your first inquiry should be to find out about the other person and not provide your life's story.

Make sure you have great action photos of yourself posted.
See the July 14, 2004 Online Dating Tips section of the Online Dating Newsletter for great tips on getting better photos.

Make sure your profile is interesting.
Avoid cliches and be creative in the way you write so as not to sound like every other profile online.

Using the above five tips, you may triple or even quadruple your 20 to 1 ratio and find more people responding to your inquiries. Remember, if they find you interesting or intriguing then they are more likely to respond. Make sure your profile is interesting and intriguing and that your photo does the job of getting them to read your profile. (SOURCE: Online Dating Newsletter - www.onlinedatingnewsletter.com)

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Relationship Tips: Learn About Your Partner
"Professional salespeople know that 'learning the customer' is an essential first step toward closing the sale. Admittedly, the clerk at the local discount store may not need to do a lot of research on you in order to sell you a toothbrush or a pair of shoelaces. But the more complex and more important the transaction is, the more likely it is that the salesperson involved is going to do some serious digging. That's because they know the more thoroughly they research the customer, the better the connection they'll make with that customer, and the more likely that interaction will result in a sale...

All transactions involve the development of relationships, and all relationships involve transactions. The best relationships involve a thorough understanding of the other person so that the transactions can be meaningful. In business the currency is money. In intimate relationships the currency is defined by feelings and experiences. In the commerce and flow of relationships, you reward your partner not with money but with feeling of love, acceptance, belonging, and security. You are rewarded in the same way. You cannot give your partner what they need if you don't understand what they need." (SOURCE: Relationship Rescue, by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D. - in bookstores everywhere)

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Relationship Quote of the Week
"If you give too much too soon, you put too much pressure on the relationship. You have a responsibility to maintain appropriate boundaries. Enjoy the pursuit, but don't get totally caught up in it. Don't treat the beginning of a relationship as though it's already the most important relationship you'll ever have. You don't know what's going to happen. If this new person's interest is as relaiable as you think it is, it's not going to disappear overnight. We've said it before, and we'll say it again: If this is the romance of your lifetime, you'll have a lifetime to enjoy it. So slow down." (SOURCE: He's Scared, She's Scared. Understanding the Hidden Fears Sabotaging Your Relationships, by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol - In bookstores everywhere)

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Inspirational Quote of the Week
"If you can dream it, you can do it." - Walt Disney

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Romantic Ideas: The Love Classifieds
Your local newspaper seems to contain classified ads for everything - jobs, real estate, lost pets, and even garage sales. Now may be a good time for it to include a personal message from you to your partner.

Contact your local newspaper (or visit their Website) to get classified ad rates for you to put a simple message. You may put something as short as "____, I love you - ______" or a saying that may have special meaning. On the day it comes out, give your partner a reason to look at the classifieds (i.e. Can you help me find _____) in the area your message is at. An alternative is to open the classifieds to the page and circle your ad with a bold marker pen, then leave it open on the table. (SOURCE: Online Dating Newsletter - www.onlinedatingnewsletter.com)

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News: True Serious About Members Single Status
(July 21, 2004 - onlinedatingnewsletter.com) Online dating relationship service True is touting its pre-screening feature after a survey by Russell Research showed that 85 percent of those polled would be more likely to use an online dating site that prescreens members against public records to ensure members are not married, when compared to other online dating sites. True is taking serious steps to ensure that everyone who uses its service is single.

"When a married person misrepresents themselves on the site by saying that they are single, we believe that constitutes fraud. Our goal with this screening is to clean-up the online dating industry, providing our members with every legitimate opportunity to find the lasting relationships they've entrusted us with helping them discover," said Herb Vest, founder and CEO of True. "The safety and security of our members is of the utmost importance and therefore, we believe it's our duty and our members' right to have this pre-screening performed, in addition to criminal background screenings. Online dating is here to stay and True is deeply dedicated to providing our members with the peace of mind they deserve."

True says its "Single Verification" service works like this:

When an individual begins to communicate on True, they are prompted with a dialogue box asking for a few additional pieces of information to perform the Single Verification(TM). Almost instantaneously, the check is performed using the algorithm specifically designed for True. If the program can't rule out people living in the same household such as children, the member is then asked to clarify the relationship and certify that they are providing True and correct information.

To ensure the accuracy of the screening, True has performed extensive testing on the screening method and certification process and has found it to be extremely accurate. In about 75 percent of the cases tested, True was able to determine pre-existing relationships through the complex screening algorithm, without the aid of additional information provided by the user.

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Feature Link: How to Stay Clear of Married Men
By Kelli Bailor

"Online dating can be extremely productive and fun. But there are some men in the online world who choose to use online dating as a mask for their true marital status. It is very easy for one to be dishonest in who they truly are online. In fact, according to MSNBC, research shows that one third of people using online dating services are married! And it doesn’t help when some dating sites out there, like Udate, do not differentiate between divorced and separated, making it even more convenient for a man to lie about his marital status.

Most women who use online dating services have more than likely run into a married man sometime in their online dating experience. Many women ask what it is that they need to do to protect them, and to be more alert at identifying married men. While these are not sure-fire ways of deciphering if he is married, here are a few tips that may assist you in your detection of the married man:

He chooses not to post a picture of himself online, or he posts a picture that may be very dark and difficult to pick him out of a crowd.
Most married men do not want their picture out there for everyone to see. They don’t want to risk that slim chance that some one they know could possibly recognize them. Instead of posting their photos online, they may choose to email you a picture to your personal email address. This is much safer for them, because it is not likely that you know someone that they know who could recognize their photo.

He will likely be the one to initiate the first contact.
Online dating sites make it very easy for both men and women to initiate first contact. It can be an even split between you starting contact or the man starting contact. But, in most cases, the married man will send the first form of communication, whether that is a chat message or a short email.

Married men often times will use a short introduction and then immediately ask you questions to better identify your personality type...

For the full article, click here.

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Editor: Joe Tracy (jtracy@onlinedatingmagazine.com)
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