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Online Dating Newsletter
Volume 1, Number 4 - July 7, 2004
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Table of Contents
1. From the Editor
2. Creative Date Idea: Golfing for Gifts
3. Online Dating Tip: Avoid Cliches; Be Original
4. Relationship Tip: Help Facilitate Communication
5. Relationship Quote of the Week
6. Inspirational Quote of the Week
7. Romantic Idea: Say it with M&M's
8. News: Online Dating Cliches
9. Feature Link: Meeting Face to Face

From the Editor
Online dating is both a frustrating and rewarding experience. On one hand it opens up opportunities to meet amazing new people. But at other times you may feel like you're in a "rut", unable to meet the type of people you're looking for or getting few responses to your inquiries. Luckily, there are many solutions to this problem.

Every single day there are new online dating sites opening up. There are literally thousands of these sites online. But few of these sites survive very long, which is why there are only a handful of big sites.

Because the online dating field is packed with big players and small players, you have the opportunity to branch out when you're feeling in a "rut". For example, while Match.com is a great service, it is so crowded that if you are not proactive (and don't look like a model), you may find yourself getting fewer views of your profile than desired.

When you feel in a rut, there are several things you can do to change your situation:

Try a new online dating service.
After falling into a rut with one online dating service, I uploaded a new profile to a different service. Within just a few days time the page views (and inquiries) I received from the new service was outpacing the old one 30 to 1!

Take new pictures of yourself.
Have a friend take active photos of you that show more of your fun personality. Remove your old photos and upload the new ones.

Rewrite your profile.
Make your online dating profile original and avoid clichés (see our news item for this issue).

Sometimes you may feel you just need a break from the whole online dating scene. This is a good time to delete your profile, take that break, and come back fresh again, recreating your profile from scratch.

Online dating is an awesome way to meet new people and what makes it work nicely is the ability to learn so much about a person before you communicate with them. But keep in mind that it is normal to have a low response to your inquiries. Don’t let that frustrate you. Keep at it, keep reworking your profile, trying different dating sites when one gets too frustrating, and soon you’ll find a technique that works great for you.

Best of success,


Joe Tracy, editor
Online Dating Newsletter

***

Creative Date Idea: Golfing for Gifts
Miniature golf is a fun game for people of all ages. And the more original and themed the golf course is, the more fun it can be. But if you're planning a "creative date" that involves miniature golf, you'll want to take the game to the next level so that it becomes a game your date will never forget. How do you do this? By raising the stakes so that your date wins a gift for every time he/she makes Par or better on each hole! Here's how it works:

Step 1
Prepare in advance for the date by wrapping 18 small gifts (one for each hole). If you want, you can theme the gifts to the miniature golfing experience (i.e. One wrapped gift is a box of 20 tokens to use in the arcade; another is a chocolate golf ball, etc.).

Step 2
Label each gift (Hole 1, Hole 2, Hole 3, etc.) and put all the gifts in a nice bag (like a gift bag you can buy at stationary or card stores).

Step 3
Bring the bag on your date and show the bag to your date, letting him/her know see how they are labeled and that for each hole he/she makes Par or better, they get a gift!

Step 4
Each time your date makes par on one of the holes, let him/her immediately open the gift associated with that hole.

Now what if your date only makes par on a couple of holes and you're left holding all those gifts? Prepare in advance for this probability by bringing a bonus card that states your date automatically wins ALL the gifts if he/she beats you. Don't give your date the card until the end. As an alternative, if he/she hits a hole in one on the last hole, you can verbally say that qualifies him/her to win all the gifts. (SOURCE: Online Dating Newsletter - www.onlinedatingnewsletter.com)

***

Online Dating Tip of the Week: Avoid Cliches; Be Original
Clichés in your profile are a quick way to make you appear like everyone else. When writing your profile, try to avoid clichés and to focus on more unique aspects of your life.

Recently Date.com surveyed 3,000 of its members (see our News section in this issue) to find out what the biggest and most annoying clichés were that people used in their profile. The winners (which you should avoid at all costs) were:

"No liars or game players!"

"This isn't enough space to sum up my life" followed by a long summation.

"I know how to treat a lady"

"I enjoy long moonlit walks on the beach"

Try to be more original in your approach to describing your interests. Instead of saying "I know how to treat a lady," be more specific (but honest): "If I'm interested in a woman, I like to do extra things for her to show how much I appreciate her" (give example if desired). Or take an even more unique (but honest) approach. "I may rarely open the car door for you, but my car is paid off!"

When you are reading profiles of people you are attracted to, you'll likely see that they avoid clichés and have a unique way of presenting themselves. This is what you want to accomplish. Be creative and original in your approach. It will attract more interest from others. (SOURCE: Online Dating Newsletter - www.onlinedatingnewsletter.com)

***

Relationship Tip of the Week: Help Facilitate Communication
Communication is vital to the success of every relationship. In her book, "Living a Blissful Marriage", author Lilian Gafni gives the following advice about improving communication to improve your relationship:

"Here are some suggestions that can facilitate communication with your spouse or other loved ones:

- Let them finish their sentences.
- Give them time to express their discomfort.
- Cooperate with their requests.
- Respect their views.
- Listen with attentiveness.
- Empathize with their feelings of helplessness.
- Be non-judgmental in your comments or replies.
- Do not be defensive.
- Do not rush to offer a remedy until you have heard the request.
- Above all, do not play the blame game or the 'being blamed' game.

Much of the time when a partner expresses discomfort, hurt feelings or pain, it is not done to blame, but rather to simply express their hurt." (SOURCE: Living a Blissful Marriage, by Lilian Gafni - in bookstores everywhere)

***

Relationship Quote of the Week
"Flattery is most effective when there is an element of surprise; when someone doesn't expect the compliment. Telling a football player that he is 'exciting to watch on the playing field' is nice. But saying that you 'love his sense of humor and his smile' will make his day. The first compliment he knows himself, the second he may suspect, but the fact that you mentioned this is delightful and surprising." (SOURCE: The Fine Art of Flirting, by Joyce Jillson - in bookstores everywhere)

***

Inspirational Quote of the Week
"Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements." - Napolean Hill

***

Romantic Idea of the Week: Say it with M&M's
M&M's are one of the most popular candies in the world and through unique TV commercials, have established themselves as a candy with character. But what most people don't realize is that you can get real M&M's with a generic ("I love you") or custom printed message on them! Best of all, you don't have to go to the M&M World store in Las Vegas (a great store) to have it done. You can do it online! Your message can be two lines long at 8 characters per line. That's enough for "Marry Me," "Kim and Nick," "You're Awesome," or a host of other personalized messages. So when you're ready to order a set of custom M&M's, follow these steps:

1) Point your browser to the M&M Website at www.mms.com.
2) Select your country (if it asks)
3) Click M&M's Store (top menu)
4) Click "Customized M&M's" (left-hand navigation)
5) Create your custom M&M's!

(SOURCE: Online Dating Newsletter - www.onlinedatingnewsletter.com)

***

News: Online Dating Cliches
(July 7, 2004 - onlinedatingnewsletter.com) Online dating service Date.com interviewed 3,094 of its members to find out what the most annoying biggest clichés are that people put in their profiles. The winners were:

Biggest Clichés Men Use in Profiles:
" I know how to treat a lady"
" I enjoy long moonlit walks on the beach"

Biggest Clichés Women Use in Profiles:
" No liars or game players!"
" This isn't enough space to sum up my life" followed by a long summation.

Date.com provided a list of clichés to users versus having them provide their own original answers.

***

Feature Link: Meeting Face to Face
By Kelli Bailor

"If you are perusing this article, then chances are you have either decided to explore or venture into the online dating world. Online dating has become a very big part of our society in the last few years, and it seems to have taken the place of meeting people in bars. The biggest part to the online dating process is actually meeting a person face to face for the first time. This can be a little nerve-racking and exciting, but it also may put you way out of your comfort zone. So, in order to make you feel a little more confident and comfortable in meeting someone new for the first time, here are some things to think about that may make your first meeting go a little more smoothly.

Physical Appearance and Expectations of the First Meeting
What is the first thing that you think of when you are preparing to get ready to meet someone for the first time? The answer to this question could differ between men and women, but most often we are concerned with our physical appearance. The majority of men and women know that first impressions are usually the most important element to meeting someone new. Consequently, we tend to take extra care in how we look, feel, and even smell for that first initial meeting. But as we take our appearance into consideration, we should also pay attention to our feelings and expectations of meeting this person.

Often times we have too high of expectations for the first meeting, and then later we feel almost let down. This tends to lead to our discouragement in the online dating world, and also dating in general. In order to keep things more in perspective, we need to try to keep more of an open-mind when meeting someone that we have only been corresponding with online. Online communication and chemistry may be quite different then the in-person communication and chemistry that surfaces. We may feel completely at ease and willing to discuss anything online or over the phone, but when we actually meet face to face, that level of comfort may not be quite what we have anticipated. So, we need to lower our expectations, and see this as just a date to get to know someone better. We should not judge our chemistry and comfort levels by just our online correspondence..."

For the full article, click here.

***

The Online Dating Newsletter is emailed free of charge to those subscribed every Wednesday. Click here to subscribe.

Editor: Joe Tracy (jtracy@onlinedatingmagazine.com)
Official Website: Click here.
Archives: Click here.

 


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