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Single Moms Have High Self and Sex-Esteem

( - May 12, 2004) TRUEBeginnings, a new online relationship service has revealed that despite popular belief, many single mothers have high levels of self-esteem and "sex esteem."

After scientifically examining and comparing responses received from more than 30,000 women nationwide, TRUEBeginnings' department of psychological studies found that single mothers tend to score significantly higher than single women who are not mothers on measures of sexual attitudes and behavior, self confidence, emotional intelligence, communication and readiness to commit.

However, according to Karin H. Bruckner, licensed therapist and TRUEBeginnings' single parent expert, many single mothers may not effectively act on these positive traits. In light of the many responsibilities they juggle -- balancing career, family and romance -- single mothers tend to loose sight of the fact that as a result of these unique life experiences, they have developed the characteristics and skills that are the foundation of healthy, well-balanced relationships.

"After scientifically reviewing recent studies focusing on issues relevant to single mothers, as well as our own research conducted on single women, we've discovered that single mothers possess considerable strength and skills," said Bruckner. "In terms of self esteem, personal confidence, stress-management and even libido, single moms score as high or higher than single women who are not mothers. The challenge is that there is not a lot of recognition that they possess these wonderful character traits. In fact, many single mothers subscribe to society's rather negative views of them instead of accessing the highly developed attributes they possess."

To help single mothers recognize and develop these traits, TRUEBeginnings has compiled a list of tips that single mothers can employ to bring their love, work and play lives into greater accord this Mother's Day and throughout the entire year:

* Maintain adult connections -- A sense of isolation is one of the key factors contributing to depression in single mothers. Although such women may lead fast-paced lives which keep them busy with work, errands, soccer practice and homework help, many single moms find it challenging to develop the deep, meaningful adult relationships they crave. Single mothers can benefit from nurturing casual adult relationships into deeper, more fulfilling ones.

* Affirm your self-worth -- According to experts, women with high self-esteem tend to interpret compliments and other forms of positive affirmation received by friends, family and co-workers as a genuine reflection of themselves, while women with lower self-esteem may disregard such positive input, failing to recognize it as sincere and well deserved. Single moms should take a lesson in love from those who score high on self-esteem measures: relish the love and acceptance received from family, friends and love interests as an affirmation of how wonderful you really are.

* Listen to your feelings -- Many single, working mothers find themselves stretched to the limit at work and at home, tackling alone the responsibilities once handled by many. If you find your frustration level rising, try listening to what your feelings are telling you instead of dismissing them in an effort to calm down. Exploring feelings of anger and frustration will give you a clear idea as to exactly what is causing them. Instead of counting to ten or pretending it doesn't matter, go where your feelings take you emotionally and use what you learn to improve your work life.

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