Nice Guys Finish Last? Not According to Match.com

(onlinedatingmagazine.com - May 20, 2004) With another love-filled summer just around the corner, Match.com, an online dating service, today reported that Americans are more likely to fall in love with people who make them laugh, than with people who make them think. This is just one of the findings of a May 2004 Match.com survey of more than 1,600 U.S. adults, which investigated the qualities and attributes that make us fall in love today.

"Who we love, and why we love them, can change over time," said Trish McDermott, Vice President of Romance and resident dating expert at Match.com. "Qualities like stability and predictability, long hailed as 'humdrum' or 'boring' by some people, have become romantic commodities in today's search for an ideal mate. These changes are as much about our life stages and internal wants and needs, as they are about the external forces that shape our lives and perceptions."

Who Does America Love?

* Of the 1,600 adults surveyed, 70% believe they're more likely to fall in love with someone who makes them laugh, rather than someone who makes them think (30%).

* Women are more likely to fall in love with nice guys, although 28% of women will fall for a bad boy over a nice guy.

* Predictability has never been more exciting, as 62% of those surveyed believe they'll most likely fall in love with a planner who is a stable, non risk-taker and who is fairly predictable.

* We don't like workaholics, even if they are incredibly successful, as 91% of those surveyed reported that they tend to fall in love with a moderately successful career person with a balanced life rather than a workaholic who enjoys an incredibly successful professional life.

* We are more likely to love a talker, with 60% of those surveyed admitting they are more likely to love someone who is great at expressing himself or herself rather than someone who is a great listener (40%).

* Has playing "hard-to-get" been played out? Sixty percent of those surveyed report they would most likely fall for a person they already know is head-over-heels for them rather than falling for someone they have to chase.

A Science-Based Look at Our Loveable Little Quirks
Findings from analysis of the more than 3 million people who have taken Match.com's Personality Test indicate that most of us bring several quirks to romantic relationships.

"Everyone can be high maintenance at times, but it's our imperfections and quirks that make us unique and loveable," said Dr. Mark Thompson, CEO & Lead Inventor at weAttract.com, developer of the science used in Match.com's Personality Test. "The real key to a successful and loving relationship is to find someone who likes to do the maintenance you require."

The most common quirks, according to Dr. Thompson include:

* Being too social at times -- talking too loud, too fast or staying on the go too much.

* Being too big-hearted -- being swayed too much by emotion or trying too hard to make your friends and family happy.

* Letting ideas and creativity get in the way of practical matters -- becoming so focused on ideas, plans for the future or a new project that you lose track of the day-to-day details of life (like doing laundry, balancing your checkbook, preparing meals).

Over half of the singles tested described some potentially frustrating traits such as often being stubborn, jealous, clingy, distant, or moody.

Love and Marriage American Style
Attitudes toward marriage reflect how, and with whom, Americans fall in love today. According to a January 2004 Match.com survey of more than 800 married people in two distinct groups-those who met on Match.com and those who met through any means other than an online dating service, in both groups "quality of character" was the most likely to be cited as the attribute that made the person surveyed fall in love with their spouse, while "sense of humor" was the second choice. Findings also revealed that online daters are likely to get married more quickly than those who meet offline, with 72% of Match.com couples getting married after dating for a year or less, vs. only 36% of the other couples.

Despite the challenges many singles feel to find stable, loving relationships and the sometimes controversial state of marriage in America today, many of us still hope to find, and live happily ever after in, loving, committed marriages. Approximately 80% of singles who register at Match.com today indicate they are seeking a long-term, committed relationship or marriage. Calculations based on site resignation data indicate that more than 200,000 Match.com members left the site in 2003 after finding the one special person they were seeking on Match.com.

> Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one. <

All Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is © copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter to the Editor today or post a comment below.