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eHarmony Reveals Daters "Must Have" and "Can't Stand" Preferences

( - July 19, 2004) When it comes to choosing desirable qualities in a life-long partner, men and women have more in common than one would think, according to, an online dating relationship service. In a recent survey conducted by the company to learn their users likes and dislikes, or what refers to as "must haves" and "can't stands", when searching for a mate, the results were surprising. Out of 50 given characteristics, the top ten aversions selected included the exact same traits, which asked about their feelings on characteristics like lying, infidelity, cheating and depression. The top ten trait list for preferred characteristics, such as sense of humor, affection, emotional health and chemistry, matched nine out of ten.

Additionally, the results show that:

Laughter is key to a good relationship.
For both men and women, a sense of humor ranked in the top two preferred characteristics.

Singles seek affection.
The ability to give and receive affection ranked in the top five personality traits among eHarmony members.

Emotional health is key.
Both men and women listed being emotionally healthy as a high priority for singles looking for a significant other.

All singles agree on what they don't want. Characteristics such as lying, cheating, and infidelity ranked in the top five "can't stands" for eHarmony singles.

Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a leading relationship expert and founder, stresses the importance of compiling lists of key qualities, as becoming clear about these characteristics will prepare singles to quickly discern whether a potential partner is worth pursuing.

"Understanding yourself and your needs is key to building a strong relationship, and part of that is knowing what you need in a partner," said Dr. Warren. "To find someone who is a great match for you, and to someday have an outstanding marriage, you must be precise about what it is you want and don't want."

Here are the top 10 "Must Have" results and "Can't Stand" results for men and women:

Men "Must Haves"
Women "Must Have's"
Sense of Humor Affection
Strong Character Sense of Humor
Responsible Chemistry
Emotionally Healthy Emotionally Healthy
Affection Good Communicator
Good Communicator Strong Character
Good Family Life Loyalty
Chemistry Passion
Loyalty Kindness
Kindness Good Family Life
Men "Can't Stand" Women "Can't Stand"
Lying Lying
Infidelity Infidelity
Rudeness Cheating
Mean Spirited Depression
Cheating Mean Spirited
Drugs Rudeness
Anger Drugs
Depression Poor Grooming
Racist Racist
Poor Grooming Anger


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