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Letter to the Editor:
Both Guys and Dolls are too Blame

I have lived a very exciting and wondrous life. I’ve had many opportunities and have been exposed to all kinds of situations and people. Through these experiences I’ve dated many kinds of women. And though armed with such experiences, it seems no matter where I go the men are always the bad guys. Whether I personally gaze, or spot over my sister’s shoulder at the Seventeen, Cosmo, Vogue or any other teen-girl or women’s magazine; whether it be in Hong Kong, Singapore, Australia, Russia, USA, England or Africa; every woman or girl seems to be quoting the same thing about every guy around no matter where.

Now, I ask is it really possible that all these subscribers, editors and readers, have never found a decent man? Answer: Unlikely! I picked this article not because it frustrated me the most but instead was the last straw. The article “Eight Warning Signs That He is Going to End it,” vindictively points out that it’s all him. He is the problem in the relationship and he spawns the only cause for it to end. Using the word “He” is wrong, when a more appropriate choice of “spouse” or “partner” would at least be fair. I’m not stating many men aren’t shallow and use immature tactics to end relationships such as warning sign #1. “He hasn’t called you for a few days,” or #5. “He’d rather spend time with his friends than you.” Because it’s a given some do... but so do women. We are not always to blame.

Instead of quickly jumping to conclusions that your relationship is on the ropes, and pointing the finger at “He” as to blame, step back and wonder if “he” just needs a night out with the boys; and “he” just needs a break from you,” and vise versa. Friends get sick of each other and need alone time, and so do you and your partner.

I ask all the female readers to ponder the question “why do men of the 21st century almost seem to prefer one night stands or short term relationships opposed to the long term?” Could it honestly be that we are the shallower less emotional caring sex? Or the fact that maybe you’ve given us a reason to be? That many women are looking for free rides? The date might not be the sharpest tool in the shed (in looks, brains, sexual capabilities) but as long as dinner and a movie are included… sure she’s game. Some of us are this in-fact, heartless only sex driven chauvinistic pig. But no women can honestly believe the argument, ‘women don’t use their sexuality to their advantage’. And yet, you still wonder why we're gone by the time you wake up.

I ask women to give the rest of us, those who care, are gentlemen-like, and do want a respectable relationship a break. There’s nothing wrong with a night out with the boys or Monday Night Football. If you’re unsure of his worthiness, take a step back instead of jumping to conclusions. I constantly ask my mother, 'How can I find the right woman for me?' and she always answers, 'Don't worry about finding the right woman- concentrate on becoming the right man.'”

Women, please do the same.
~ Paul Reay

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