1. Trust Your Gut Instinct
Your instinct is a powerful medium for knowing when
something doesn't feel right. It is also a great
way to measure when to move forward with someone
and when to turn and run. As you read profiles,
responses to emails, have phone conversations, and meet in
person your instincts help tell you if something
is "right" or if something is out of alignment. The
"out of alignment" message is your cue
to be careful, back off, or proceed with extreme
caution. Trust your gut instinct, it's the most
powerful psychological tool you have at your disposal.
2. Don't Provide Personal Information
Too Soon
Your home phone number and full name provide easy ways
to track who you are and where you live. Armed with
just your home phone number, a person can easily gain
access to your income information, home address, and
even learn the value of your home. Armed with your
first and last name, a person can do searches to determine
quite a bit of information on you - where you work,
what you do, and even what your home phone number is.
So in the initial stages of communication, guard your
personal information. As far as phone communication,
see the next tip.
3. Use a Free Email Account
If you decide to move your communication from the anonymous
email feature provided by the majority of online
dating services then provide an email address that
isn't your regular one. Sign up for a free Yahoo!,
Hotmail, or Gmail account that you use just for online
dating. Don't put your full name in the From field
- only your first name or something else. This protects
you from a person being able to search your normal
email address to find out more information about
you.
4. Use a Cell Phone or Anonymous
Phone Service to Chat
When it's time to move your communication
to the next level (talking on the phone), never give
out your home phone number. Either provide a cell phone
number, use Skype to communicate, or use an anonymous
phone service. It's just an added protection barrier
until you get to know the person better.
5. Beware of Married People
It's unfortunate, but a lot of married people
do use online dating services. They'll even go as
far as to meet people. A few years ago, MSNBC reported
that a study found that up to 30% of people using
online dating services are married! To help you in
determining whether a person is married or not, read
the Online Dating Magazine article, "Staying
Clear of Married Men".
6. Look for Questionable Characteristics
in Your Communication
As you chat via email and on the phone you may be able to start to pick out characteristics
of the other person. Are they controlling? Do they seem to anger easily? Do they
avoid some of your questions? These can be questionable characteristics that
tell you it's time to move on.
7. Ask for a Recent Photo
There's nothing wrong in asking someone if their
photos are recent. If they don't have a photo, request
a recent one. It's important for you to get a good look
at the person you may eventually meet. Plus your instincts
from your communications and their photos may provide
you with valuable insight into the person. Plus, if they
tell you the photo is recent and you meet and see a major
difference, then you'll know the person lied and can
cut the date short. If a person lies about their photo
or profile then that is a red flag to no longer pursue
the relationship.
8. Stick With Paid Online Dating
Services
Free online dating services provide a greater opportunity
for potentially dangerous individuals. They don't
ever have to provide a credit card or other information
that identifies them. There is some truth to the
saying, "you get what you pay for".
9. Don't Get a False Sense
of Security
Some online dating services claim to offer "background
checks" and when signing up for such a service you
may find it easier to let your guard down. Don't.
Laws differ from state-to-state when it comes to
background checks and there are even several states
where checks can't be effectively performed. Because
of the inconsistency, criminals/wrong doers can and
do get into services that do "background checks".
Never let your guard down.
10. Meet in a Public Place
for Your First Meeting
When it's time to schedule that first exciting
face-to-face meeting, arrange to meet in a public
place and provide your own transportation. Your
initial meeting will tell you a lot about the other
person,
including whether or not he/she lied in their profile.
Your gut instincts will kick in. Never accept an
offer to be picked up at your house. Make sure
that a friend knows where you are at and who you
are with.
