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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating with Disabilities > Wounded Heartstrings

Dating with Disabilities
by Melissa Blake

Tugging at Wounded Heartstrings

Love. Bitterness. Breakups. Unrequited love. Revenge. Cheating hearts. Chances are, if you’ve experienced it, there is a complimentary song to go with it. A little mood music, if you will. After all, isn’t that what songwriters aim to do? To tug at your wooed or wounded heartstrings? To write about the universal experience? I don’t know about you, but nothing is more universal than the L word: Love.

Think about it: besides polka tunes and the assorted baby lullaby, the majority of the classics all center on the love theme: Who’s got it, who’s lost it, who wants it, who doesn’t want it, who sought revenge on a cheating boyfriend by totaling his beautiful truck (score one for the strong and powerful Carrie Underwood).


That’s the heart of music – no pun intended. The power of the written word. Music speaks to some people through its melody. I’ve never been that girl. I’ve always been the type who devours and analyzes every line of a song, sometimes even down to the rhyming structure, which may be a tad bit OCD, but I love it.

Growing up, I was the sort of girl who had a theme song for everything. But the majority of my theme songs were more often than not about love. I’ve even come to call this ever-expanding collection my love theme songs.

Yet of all the songs in my catalogue, these are the Top 5 that have continuously spoken to me over the years. Because I have so many, look for part 2 next week.

Alone” (Heart)
Key lyrics: You don't know how long I have waited/And I was going to tell you tonight/But the secret is still my own/And my love for you is still unknown/Alone
This pretty much sums up my entire non-relationship existence. And the whole bit about wanting to tell someone – tonight! – how you feel? Well, let’s just say it always felt like the Wilson sisters had stolen my teenage diaries and read all my exhaustive entries about Crush Boy (and we all know how that ended, don’t we?)

Catch The Wind” (Donovan)
Key Lyrics: For me to love you now/Would be the sweetest thing/twould make me sing/Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind.
Is it really so inconceivable to believe that I (little old me) could find love, be loved and be worthy of love? Sometimes it feels exactly like the wind – some eternal nothingness I’m chasing, always just out of my grasp.

You Don’t Know Me” (Jann Arden)
Key Lyrics: Afraid and shy I let my chance go by/The chance that you might love me too
Yeah, the title pretty much gives this one away, doesn’t it? Have you ever arrived at that point where you suddenly realize you’ve just blown everything? All because you couldn’t open your mouth? Instead, you just sat there and let something that could potentially be great just pass you by.

Invisible” (Taylor Swift)
Key Lyrics: And you just see right through me/But if you only knew me/We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable/Instead of just invisible
I’ve always felt like my disability has made me the invisible girl in the room. And of course, there always happened to be a slew of pretty blondes, brunettes and able-bodied girls surrounding me – girls who didn’t have any scars, who didn’t have sort of deformities. Or at least ones that weren’t visible anyway.

"When I'm With You" (Sheriff)
Key Lyrics: Baby, oh I get chills when I'm with you/Baby, my world stands still when/I'm with you/When I'm with you
There’s nothing more beautiful than a passionate ‘80s power ballad. I’ve always loved this song (and, of course, singing along to it too), but it’s taken on a whole new meaning ever since I’ve made the acquaintance of the new guy I mentioned last week. He just makes me smile and forget about everything, if only for awhile. And for now, that’s enough for me.

What sorts of love songs do you ABSOLUTELY LOVE? You know, the ones that get you all misty eyed and make you want to find The One - NOW? I’d love to hear about your own story behind the songs!


Dating with Disabilities is published every Tuesday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Melissa Blake. Melissa is a freelance writer and columnist. Her work has been featured in Redbook, Pregnancy magazine and the Chicago Tribune. She can be reached at

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