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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating with Disabilities >Tiger Woods

Dating with Disabilities
by Melissa Blake

Tiger Woods Extracurricular Activities

Now, let me just preface this by saying that I'm not a mean person. I may be an honest person, but a mean person I am not, and there is a huge difference between the two.

With that said, the world has been enraptured for the last week since word of Tiger Woods and his extracurricular activities made their way from newspapers to television news to the world wide web of blogs. Call me psychic, but I've always been a little suspect and skeptical of Mr. Woods. From the moment he rose to fame with that boyish charm and killer golf swing, something just didn't add up for me. He was just too perfect.

Well, that is, until we realized of late that he wasn’t. Perfect, I mean. It seems Woods led quite the different life off the golf course.

The rap sheet, for those of you who have been living under a rock: After a November 27 car accident, Woods’ private, seemingly perfect life became a very public affair when word spread like wildfire that Woods had been engaged in an extramarital affair – well, possibly more than one affair, actually.

After exhaustively reviewing all the evidence (and I'm pretty certain more evidence will be making an appearance in the months to come too), I've come to the only logical conclusion: There is not one sliver of a bone in my body that feels anything that even remotely resembles, looks like or sounds like pity for Woods. Why? Because the man swung that club (and no that is not a euphemism), and now he's going to have to suffer the consequences.

It's actually sort of pathetic if you think about it. Pathetic not because Woods attempted to profusely apologize for his transgressions, but pathetic Woods is just another seemingly family man to fall prey to this trend of cold-hearted cheaters desperately trying to cover their tracks and trysts.

It’s what I’ve come to call the Don Draper Syndrome. He’s another one of those cold-hearted cheaters. Though his ad-exec character on AMC’s hit Mad Men is fictional, the depiction of his lifestyle is quite on-the-mark. He lived during the booming metropolis of New York City in the early ‘60s. He was a man’s man. He could have any woman – in addition to his wife – that he wanted. And he did. On multiple, multiple occasions. Like Woods, he had a wife and children. Like Woods, he was a successful, seemingly upstanding man and citizen, father, husband.

Back then, it was pretty easy to keep your secret life, well, secret. You could probably even get away with it pre-1998, but it's 2009. Nothing is ever sacred or the least bit secret anymore. Gone are the days where cheaters could walk proudly down the street (probably returning to work after a hotel rendezvous) with their heads held high and smiling, knowing their transgressions would remain between the sheets, never seeing the light of day.

But, I’m sorry, Woods, this isn’t 1963. You can’t light your lucky (again that is not a coy euphemism) and not expect people to see the flame and smoke. You probably could have avoided this mess if you’d have remembered the following (well, you could have avoided the entire mess if you had actually used your brain in the first place and never did any of the things you did, but since I’m not a miracle worker, I can’t make you a time machine):

Technology has rendered anything and everything permanent
Even though your sport (I’m talking about golfing here) probably hasn’t advanced that much in the last 20 years, except maybe for a greener-grass upgrade, technology has advanced at lightning speeds. Cell phones. Blackberries. Blogs. Texts. IMs. Facebook. Twitter. Flickr.

My point: nothing can ever truly, permanently, forever, never-to-see-the-light-of-day-again be erased. If it’s been sent, saved, searched for or posted even once on YouTube, it could come back to haunt you. And it usually does come back to haunt you. So unless you have no problem literally airing your dirty laundry to the entire world, might I suggest that you think twice the next time you consider sending that late-night, I-miss-you text to someone other than your wife.

And speaking of your wife (remember her?...)

You're not the only victim here; in fact, you don't even qualify for victim status or benefits here.
I honestly don't care about your reasons for your wandering eye: you were lonely, unhappy, drunk, thought you were dreaming, whatever. I don't really care. What I do really care about is your wife and children. They are the true victims here. It’s not just their reputation that is shattered, as yours no doubt will be. You’ve obliterated everything they ever thought you were: a husband, a father, a protector, an honest man. They trusted you, and you broke that trust – plain and simple. No amount of apologizing will ever fully erase that hurt.

"I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart," Woods wrote on his official Web site. "I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect."

Indeed, Mr. Woods. Actions speak louder than words, and you’re actions have made it quite obvious that you’re very, very short of perfection.


Dating with Disabilities is published every Tuesday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Melissa Blake. Melissa is a freelance writer and columnist. Her work has been featured in Redbook, Pregnancy magazine and the Chicago Tribune. She can be reached at

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