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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating with Disabilities > Goodbye Dating Rules

Dating with Disabilities
by Melissa Blake

Saying Goodbye to Dating Rules for Women

I came across a set of dating rules for woment as I was perusing other blogs and felt that these rules going needed sharing -- with my own opinions added, of course. Pffft. Rules smules. Rules are made to be broken, right? Remember: Breaking rules is the new IT trend. So 2009.

As a side note: I’ve always been against rules, in case you haven’t noticed that by now. I’ve never been one to conform, to settle for the status quo. Standing out is far more interesting. I want to be the girl in the crowd who everyone is pointing to and saying, “Who is that girl?” in hushed whispers as I sashay past (well, as much as I can sashay in my wheelchair, but you get the point). I want to be somebody, not just anybody. I want to be Blair Walfdorf without the witch factor.

So, naturally, being a trendsetter means the very opposite of following rules, right? It means carving out your own niche, be damned whatever the world says. So, “dating rules,” this is what I have to say to YOU…..

Note: the source for these rules is The Dating Jungle. My opinions have been added in bold below each rule:

1. Never call guys. Ever.
Hmmm, I can’t help but feeling like we’re in 1960s suburbia here. Have we not heard of women’s rights? FYI: WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL THE GUY, especially if he’s doing one of the following: NOT calling you, NOT noticing your awesomeness or just plain STRINGING YOU ALONG

2. Make sure you see your guy in a well lit area, or during the day. Sometimes, when you end up meeting someone in a bar or a club, and you finally see them face to face outside, it's a whole other ball game. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Well, I technically don’t know what you’re talking about since I’m not a bar-hopping, party-hardy girl. But this is a good point nonetheless. It’s like a contract – always read the fine print. Usually, things are never as they appear on the surface, but that could work to your advantage too. Your prince charming may be easy to overlook on the outside, but his heart may be filled with gold and love for YOU!

3. Limit dates to only once a week in the beginning. You don't want to get too close, too fast. Let the guy miss you and wonder what you are doing.
Good point. I’m an old-fashioned girl when it comes to this stuff. As I always say, a girl should leave a little scent of mystery behind her.

4. Always let the guy pay for everything. Of course, you always have to offer some money. And if he accepts, run like the wind.
Five words: I PAY MY OWN WAY. If he’s paying for everything, he may get a sense of ownership…and what’s that, my friends? A pimp. Do you want a pimp for a boyfriend? I didn’t think so.

5. Always date during the week. Weekends are reserved for drinking and hanging out with friends.
A). I don’t drink. B). The weeknights are reserved for Frasier time (I need my Niles Crane fix; guys, take note: this guy knows how to charm the ladies. C). I’ve always fancied a leisurely date on a Saturday afternoon where we both get lost in conversation for hours.

6. Always get their last names. And always Google your dates, myspace or facebook them. You want an idea of who you're going to go out with. You never know what you're going to find.
Hello, isn’t this Dating 101? I don’t have much experience on the boy front, but I know enough to get the guy’s name. And, ummm, wasn’t Google invented solely for searching for dirt on their past? Who uses it to do actual ‘research’ these days anyway? And Facebook? Well, that’s a stalker’s (oops, I mean researcher’s) heaven. Trust me. I’ve been in heaven for four years now; it’s as good as everyone says it is. The truth is better. Always.

7. Never ask how many women he has been with. Trust me, you don't want to know.
Fair enough. But I do want to know if he’s still in love with any of them. And as long as we’re being fair, he doesn’t have to know how many men I’ve been with.


Dating with Disabilities is published every Tuesday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Melissa Blake. Melissa is a freelance writer and columnist. Her work has been featured in Redbook, Pregnancy magazine and the Chicago Tribune. She can be reached at

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