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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > Giving Wrong Phone Number

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Giving the Wrong Digits
When You Don't Want a Guy to Have Your Phone Number

I recently went to a football game with my Dad and while I was waiting in the concession line during halftime, an older man in front of me struck up conversation with me.  Lucky me.  I’ll admit, he creeped me out a little, wanting to know all about me—what I did for a living, where I lived, what I did for fun.  I wanted to explain to him that this was not a first date and I didn’t care to divulge this information to him, but he was talking so much that I couldn’t interrupt.  He made me uncomfortable, sharing such information with a stranger, but I felt stuck and didn’t know what else to say. 

When it came time to part, my worst fears came true.  He asked for my number because he thought it would be great if we could get together sometime.  Was I giving off a certain vibe like that would be a good idea?  I surely didn’t think so.  And then I did something I’ve never done before.  I gave him the wrong number.  I felt terrible for doing it.  All I could think was that here is this guy, creepy, yes, but a guy nonetheless, who thought he was getting some girls digits, and when he calls them he’s going to get the wrong number.  What will he think then?

I felt like a jerk. 

I guess I could have just said that I have a boyfriend or something like that, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings either.  Why am I such a sucker?  It wasn’t like I had anything invested with this guy.  He was nice enough and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.  So I gave him a number, just the wrong one, and then I felt guilty about it.  But then I had to think, seriously, he was the one bothering me, so I shouldn’t feel guilty, or should I?

What’s a girl to do in a situation like this?  It happens all the time.  Girl meets boy, girl doesn’t like boy, but boy persists and asks for the digits.  What are the girl’s options?  She can a) simply say no (oh, you bold ladies), b) say that she is seeing someone, c)give the right number(even if she’s not interested), or d) do as I did, and give a fake number.

But then what happens in each of the scenarios?

It’s like those kid’s books where for a certain ending, turn to page 155, or for an alternate ending, turn to page 170.  You never know the outcome.

If you went with a, and said, “no,” he may press you further and ask, “why not?”  That could make the situation even more uncomfortable.  If you are one of those bold ladies, and here’s to you, then just tell him that you’re not interested and hopefully he can be enough of a gentleman to accept that.  But this guy wasn’t like that.  I have a feeling he would have pressed on and said, “Come on, just one date.” Ugh.

If you went with b, and said that you are seeing someone, then that is probably your best bet, because a guy should accept that answer and back off.  Hopefully.  Whether you are seeing someone or not, they should realize that if you are seeing someone, they don’t have much of a chance.

For those who are in the c category and give the right number, you are either actually interested, or perhaps feel a little guilty and want to be honest.  Yeah, I’ve been there before.  Not interested, but I gave my real number.  And trust me, that just makes the situation worse.  Because he will call and want to get together, and if you still don’t, then you have to come up with more excuses and that can just be draining.

Then there is the avenue I took: d.  The fake number.  Yes, I felt awful about doing it.  But at the same time, I felt like it was my only out.  But as I was in such a rush to enter my fake number into the phone, I spelled my name wrong:  Nicoke.  Oh, boy.  I just feel bad now for the girl, or guy, who gets that phone call.

Being stuck in a position with a guy who presses you to give him your number can be daunting and stressful, but in the end, you have to do what works best for you.  What I learned from this past experience is that honesty is the best policy.  It was my first and last time of giving a fake number.  I just realized that it’s not the right thing to do.  Next time, I will be honest, whatever that answer will be.  Maybe he’ll be let down, but it’s better than him calling a number and getting the wrong voice on the other end of the phone.  I know I wouldn’t want that, and it’s not fair to do to others.

 


Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.


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