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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > New Year and Dating

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

New Year and Dating

Editor's Note: We're glad to see Dating Triumphs and Tragedies back after its short hiatus.

It’s a new year.  You’ve made your New Year’s Resolutions.  Out with the old, in with the new.

So what does that mean in the area of dating?

For some of you, who may not be having the luck they want in the area of dating, it literally may mean “out with the old and in with the new.”  Breaking up with someone and trying to find the one that works in their life.  Or breaking old dating habits and starting new ones.  Or instead, just going out there on the dating scene with a fresh approach.  Trying a dating website.  Meeting that friend of a friend that they’ve been suggesting for so long.  Not holding back anymore.  It’s a new year, it’s a new you.


Or perhaps, it’s a new year, and that means changes.  You are tired of being single and you want to settle down.  You decided that this is the year to do it, and you are going to “make” it happen.  Well, we know that we can’t “make” things happen, but you sure are going to try.  No more just dating one guy after another—a committed relationship is what you want, and good for you.

Any movement in your life, in the realm of dating, is good.  Staying stagnant is not.  Then, nothing changes.  Our complaints stay the same.  And soon enough, we’re making our New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 and they are exactly the same.  I know you don’t want that, and neither do I.

So, my friends, what can we do for 2009 in our dating lives?  Spice it up?  Tone it down?  Keep it where it is?  It depends where are you are in your romantic life right now, and it’s up to how you feel.  For each category, all I can offer are suggestions.

Spice it up!
If you have been in a dating lull this past year, then perhaps you want this year to be the one that you actually meet someone that you connect with, or at least connect with for a night. ;) Maybe this past year has been about work, friends, obligations, bills!  You’re sick of that, of course.  You want time for you.  You want time to spend with someone other than your friends and family, and that is beyond understandable, so you have to spice it up.  And I don’t mean throwing on the red dress and heels and heading to a salsa club.  I mean just putting yourself out there.  No more laying on the couch after work or watching movie marathons on weekends.  Just. Get. Out.  It doesn’t have to be to a bar or club.  It could be to the mall, to a movie, to an event.  Be seen.  Be you.  Just do something different.  Trust me, you will find all these little opportunities come into you life, and soon, those little opportunities will turn into big ones.  And when you meet him, then you can make it extra spicy.

Tone it down.
Maybe you’re the type who has spent this past year dating guy after guy, waiting for the right one and wondering when he’d come along, and wondering why all the others never worked out.  Whew, you must be exhausted!  Dating that much can be overwhelming.  You never get a break.  You’re so determined to find the right guy, that you’re already skipping over the guy you’re with to see who is next.   Tone it down a notch.  Take some time for yourself.  See what you really want, and when you have a little idea of that, see who comes along.  Then go on that date and put your all into it.  Maybe it’ll work out, maybe it won’t.  But it doesn’t mean you need to jump into the next date.  Again, take some time.  Eventually, you’ll find him, but it does take time, and speed-dating will only wear you down.

Keep it where it is.
So you think you’ve found him?  Or maybe you’re not sure, but you have been dating for a while.  And you’re comfortable.  Comfortable is good.  It can take a while to get there.  Don’t get antsy waiting for his next move, or wonder what your next move is.  Enjoy what you have.  If it seems like a good thing, then it probably is.  Enjoy it!  You deserve!  Don’t question anything, because all the answers will come in good time.

Wherever you are on the timeline of dating, I wish you well, and much happiness in the New Year.


Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at

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