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Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Observations on Dating

My Aunt has a very adorable four-year-old, and he’s growing up faster than he should.  She was just telling me how there is a fifth grader down the street from her and he saw her for the first time in a while riding her bike, and after she went by, he said to my Uncle, “she got cuter, didn’t she?”  The little guy already has a thing for the ladies.  Watch out, dating world!

I’ve recently been observing a lot about males and females interacting, especially when it comes to dating.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been on a couple of doozies lately and would rather not focus on my own dating life.


Take my cousin, “Felicia,” for example.  She’s a great catch—attractive, witty and fun.  She can lift anyone’s spirits when having a bad day.  The last guy she dated was too clingy, so much that he pushed her away.  She may have liked him at first, but his constant calls got to be too much for her.  It made him unappealing.  So then she got set up on this date with a great guy, and he asked her straight out what her pet peeves were when it came to dating.  She was honest.  She told him that she didn’t like clinginess or when a guy calls too much.  Her date agreed and when he didn’t call the next, she was relieved and thought he got the message.  But it has been weeks and he still hasn’t called.  The date went great, so she is a bit confused.  Perhaps he was turned off by her comment, but he did ask after all.  Unless he is one of those clingy types, and didn’t want to get hurt in the end.

I’ve noticed that guys are either too into you, or as distant as can be.  A guy I had dated in the past recently got back in touch with me and asked if I might want to go out sometime.  I thought about it and figured, sure, why not?  We did have fun together.  He told me he was working the weekend, but would give me a call afterwards.  I didn’t get that call.  I did get a text message saying he’s been busy and he’d call later that day.  No call.  Later that week I asked him out and he said he was going to New York for the weekend and he’d call when he got back.  Still no call.  As it stands, I still have not heard from this guy, nor do I think I want to.  He was the one that put it out there and the idea into my head that it might be nice to see him again.  He shouldn’t go changing his mind like that.  Why do guys do these things?

Then there’s my friend, “Suzi.”  She just started dating this guy and is not quite sure where it is going.  Or perhaps, she is afraid of where it is going.  They met online, which can sometimes speed up the process of dating, since you become pretty acquainted with that person quickly.  They went on a couple of dates and things were going smoothly and then boom, he wanted her to meet his parents.  Not that she’s opposed to meeting parents, but it has only been two dates.  She’s not even sure if there will be a third and if there is, it shouldn’t involve his parents.  Does she really want to become attached that quickly?  She hasn’t given him an answer yet, and he doesn’t understand.  She tried to explain that things might be moving a little fast, and he tried to explain how that was a good thing.  Does this ever get easier?

There are all sorts of men out there—from the four-year-old who is ready to start dating to the guy who has been on two dates and wants to get married.  Some guys get attached right away while others seem to border on the edges of dating, just wanting someone around but not fully committed.  It’s hard to find that special place in between, of having someone there when you need them, but having your own space as well.  And having your own space is important in a relationship.  You don’t want to be smothered and get sick of him.  You want to enjoy his company.  The best way to do that is to usually be honest about the time you spend together and what you are looking for in a relationship.  Sometimes that can hurt, but often, it’s the best thing for you.  Understanding what you want can help you learn about yourself and then men you are looking for.


Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at

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