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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > Conversation Starter

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

The Conversation Starter

A couple of weeks ago, we examined “pick-up lines” and whether or not they really work.  My friend, “Palm,” told me about her experience, and then later about her friend’s approach.   It was to late to make the article, however I believe that he has a different and interesting approach to meeting potential dates.

He is in a band, Curtis Peoples (www.curtispeoples.com) and while you’d think he’d have that going for him enough, he has his own tactics with women.  “I’ve never the pick-up line artist,” he says.  “I’ve always fallen into the ‘nice guys finish last’ mentality in that way.  I’m best if I get a chance to actually talk to someone for a few minutes, and bring up movies or music.”

 

And there he has a point.  I can’t tell you the amount of times that I have briefly spoken with someone and then all of a sudden we talk about a favorite movie or band and click—the conversation moves on…and lasts.

He continues:  “The girls I have good luck with are ones that get a good ‘Wayne’s World’ or ‘Ferris Bueller’ reference or really love U2’s ‘All That you Can’t Leave Behind’ album.  That’s where my pick-up lines work for me.  Being hit on by me is like being hit on by Paul Rudd’s character in the movie ’40 Year Old Virgin,” he explains.

And I love it!  Because it’s honest!  It’s genuine!  On date #4…are you still going to be saying, “hey, is there room in your pants for the both of us?”  Umm…I don’t think so.  You probably will be talking about music and movies and all those other fun things you have in common.  So why not get right to it?  Why not click immediately, instead of boring each other with those lame comments.

I love it when I meet someone new and they have the same music or movie preferences that I do.  Then there is something real to talk about.  And talking about one album will lead to another—the same with movies.  And before you know it, you’re talking about a million other things and you have no idea how you got there, but it’s wonderful and you don’t want to stop talking.  But…

You have to.

I know, I know, the talking is great.  Especially when you first meet someone and you want to know alllllll about them, and they want to know all about you.  But if you do it all on a first meeting, what’s the second gonna be like.  “So….yeah…that second scene in ‘Wayne’s World?’  Yeah, that was awesome!”  Then she might get bored and realize…maybe that’s all there is to this relationship.  A common love of music and movies.  Most likely, that’s not the case.  But with an opening like that, you may get nervous and fall back on that plan, realizing that’s all you two know how to talk about things.  Meanwhile there is so much more.

Conversation starters like that are a plus, because they instantly connect you.  But you want to build on that.  They are better than pick-up lines because you will know that you do have commonalities.  From there, you need to break through and see what lies beneath that.  Restaurant, family, friends, hobbies, interests, and just in general, how you like being together.  It sounds daunting, but it’s not.  Once you do all that, then you plan dates to go to your favorite band’s concerts or to see your favorite movies.  Or better yet, stay in and plan a date to watch your favorite movie.  She’ll love it.

Having things in common right away is wonderful, but you can’t bet on that.  You can’t hope that it will bring happiness.  There has to be more.  Yes, it is a perfect conversation starter.  So 1) you like the girl. 2) You have common interests.  3) Is this a real match?  That is what you need to figure out.  It’s likely to be so, but as with all relationships, you need to do the work.  But hey, that’s the fun part.  Getting to know someone beyond their movie and music interests is exciting.  Who is this person?  Go find out.  And once you do, cuddle up to your favorite movie.  It will only make it that more special.


           

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.


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