Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > Saint Dwynwen

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Saint Dwynwen
Searching for or Hiding From Lovers

“Nothing wins hearts like cheerlfulness.” ~ St. Dwynwen

January 25 is a romantic holiday that goes unnoticed by many, and has just passed. It is Saint Dwynwen’s Day. Who? you may be asking. It’s sort of like the Welsh equivalent of St. Valentine’s Day. Ahhh…now maybe you’re catching on. St. Dwynwen is the patron saint of lovers (and sick animals, what a combo!) She was a 5th century Welsh Princess who was set to wed the prince Maelon. But Dwynwen no longer wanted to be with him—some say it is because she was promised to another man, others that it is because she wanted to follow a religious life, and one story says that is was because Maelon became too forceful with her.

Either way, as she pulled away he became more in love and refused to let her go. She fled to the woods where she prayed that her misery would end. She dreamt that she drank a cool drink that saved her from being the object of Maelon’s affection and also from her own heartache. But when this drink was given to Maelon, it turned him to ice. She prayed again and was given three wishes: 1) that Maelon be unfrozen, 2) that she should never marry, and 3) that God should answer the requests she makes on behalf of lovers, so that they can either find love and happiness, or be cured of heartache and unanswered love. Her wishes were granted.

It seems St. Dwynwen endured a lot for the greater good. To never have found a true love, but to aid others in their quest for love is quite a deed. Perhaps, more importantly than that, she found relief from her own aching heart, and that is why part of her wish was to mend the hearts of others. In a prayer to her, friends of Dwynwen can ask for aid in finding love, healing their wounded heart, or, more broadly, just an acknowledgement that they will find love with the right person when the time is right. Now that’s trust.

Sure, many people are looking for love, but there are probably just as many who are looking to forget about a love, or, have someone’s attention turned away from them. I’ve been in one, two…yep, all three situations. Dwynwen is my gal. So which is the hardest? It’s a toss up.

I guess looking for love is good and difficult. It can be fun and exciting, but also seemingly never-ending and nerve-wracking. People can search and find it and be in a relationship and then it ends, people can search and find it and get married, or people can search and go on a few dates and then…back to the searching. It’s that one thing that you can’t really just wish for and have it happen the way you want to, though if only it were that simple. I mean, according to legend, you can ask for St. Dwynwen’s help, but ultimately, that is just help and it’s up to all that other stuff like compatibility and whether or not you can really stand each other. Maybe that’s why Dwynwen ran from it?

Speaking of running away—ever have that guy interested in you, as in really interested, but you’re just not at all into him. Even if you’ve tried or willed yourself to sort of like him, there’s just no way it’s happening? Okay, maybe you haven’t been there, but I have, and it sucks. I mean, even if the guy is the most annoying person you have ever met, it’s still the worst feeling to have someone like you and not like them back. Because you know what it’s like to be on the other side. Even though you just want them to leave you alone, there’s that tinge of sadness in knowing what it’s like to not have “like” reciprocated. And wouldn’t it just be easier if you could make a wish to have their affections turned away from you, have them placed on someone else who will like them and what they have to offer, and you can be free of guilt and of harassment. Wishing is easy, real life is hard.

Then there’s maybe the hardest part: healing a broken heart. Sometimes it’s as difficult as getting over a love lost, or moving on after a quick breakup, to even ending dating with someone you haven’t been seeing for real long. Breaking a connection that you established with someone is a complicated thing to do. Moments during that time together cannot just be forgotten, and all of the “what ifs?” come into play. And most of the time, there is usually one person who was more invested than the other. St. Dwynwen was completely selfless, and knowledgeable, in her quest to aid those whose hearts had not forgotten love, but were aching with it. If there was a speedy way to forget the pain of it, and heal it so that it could find a heart that could love it back, then the dating world would probably be a much more simple and carefree place. But of course it has its challenges, the lessons learned, but through all that, hopefully a little love found.

St. Dwynwen had her own lessons learned and lessons that she gave, and still gives, whether you want to openly reach out to her or just know her story. And if you do use her as an option in your pursuit of love, healing, or hiding, may she grant you all the wishes your heart desires.

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.

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