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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > Making New Friends

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Making New Friends Makes Dating Easier

Everyone likes a good party, right?  Or…not so much.

I was recently watching one of my favorite TV shows, “My Boys,” on TBS, and it is, like the station says, “very funny.”  It’s about a girl, PJ, who is a sports columnist in Chicago and has all-male friends, and one female friend.  And I can relate a bit, being that I am a writer, and a columnist, a big sports fan (Go Yankees…and Celtics!) and have always seemed to get along really well with guys.  So anyway, it’s a great show, and I’m hooked, and each week, I find myself wondering, what is that PJ going to get herself into this time?


Well, let me tell you.  Poor PJ has had some issues in the romantic area of her life.  From crushes on friends that haven’t worked out, to work-related dating that just shouldn’t happen, it’s been a rocky road for the poor gal.  And then she got the idea—a singles party!  Yes, get all of her single friends together, and they each bring a single friend, and then they mingle, and see who can get matched up with whom.  Great idea, except no one wanted to do it.

She did get a few friends there.  Unfortunately, the man who was brought and intended for her was actually gay, and her two male friends ended up fighting over the same girl, while she and her friend fought over the same guy.  In the end, it was PJ back with her gang of friends.  Lesson learned—maybe you just can’t force love.

BUT…you can sure try! :-)

PJ had every best intention—she was both trying to find a date for herself, and for her friends.  Also, to get a group of people together as a whole and just have a nice night.  But perhaps she was trying too hard and just kept the focus at matchmaking.  When there is that strong focus, you lose sight of everything else.  For instance, having fun and enjoying the night.  There is another way to plan such an event without stressing and without losing all of your guests.

One way to do that is to plan a simple party.  Nothing too extreme, but nothing too limited where you restrict it to certain friends.  Yes, invite your single friends, but invite your coupled-up friends and married ones too.  That way, there is a good base of your own friends there.  Then, tell them to invite some friends, whether single or dating, you don’t need to specify, because there are sure to be some single folk there.  Just be sure to say everyone is welcome, but it’s not meant to be a raging party.  Just some friends getting together and meeting new people, etc.  That way, you have your friends to chat with, and they can introduce you to new friends.  And if it turns out you do meet someone of interest, hooray!  And if you just make a new friend, then that can lead to good places to.  The point is to make it less stressful for everyone, including yourself.

And if that seems a little too dry for you, then do the opposite—take it to the beach!  It is summer after all.  Invite a bunch of your friends, and their friends, to the beach, and make a day of it.  Bring lunch, go with your friends, and meet up with other friends there.  It’s a laidback place to mingle and chat, and by the time you know everyone, it will be late enough where you can all head out to a restaurant or bar and keep the conversation going.  By the time you realize you know everyone’s name and story, you’ll also realize you’re having a lot of fun and didn’t have to put so much energy into it.  You’re just being…you.

Dating and meeting new people can be difficult, yes, but it doesn’t have to be.  The less stress that you place on yourself and others, the better it will be.  Because dating and stress are just two things that should not go together.  Have fun, be yourself, and others will also appreciate your party planning.  Just don’t make yourself so popular that you have to fend off new dates every night of the week.  One at a time, okay?


Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at

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