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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > Following Through

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Following Through Flirtatiously

“Some people think I’m cute,” he said to me as he had his arm around my shoulders.

I didn’t respond.

I didn’t know how to.

I was twenty-one at the time and extremely nervous because he was this up-and-coming singer-songwriter (who is now doing pretty okay for himself and just released a new CD), and of course I had a little crush on him.  But the whole thing was awkward..

 

He had played this little show and Michelin was sponsoring something, and okay, here’s the big reveal…I think that the Michelin Man, yes, Mr. Bib himself, is the cutest thing ever.  Come on, have you seen him in those commercials???  Adorable!  And if I look to my left right now, yep, there’s my Michelin Man Bobble-head.

So anyway, I made a comment to this guy, we’ll call him, “Mr. Chariot,” about how the Michelin Man was just the cutest thing ever, and his response was:

“Some people think I’m cute.”

What?

I was so flustered I couldn’t say anything.

Later, back at our apartment, my friend Erin and I were like, “what does that mean???”  We ran through a bunch of ideas:

“Was it just a statement, does he just think he’s cute?” I said.

“He was flirting!  He wanted you to say he was cute!” she told me.

“But that’s so awkward.  Who says that?”

“He does!  That’s exactly the type of thing he’d say!”

I fell down on the bed and threw a pillow over my head. With a muffled voice, I replied, “I should’ve said, ‘I think you’re cute!” Because, after all, I did think he was.

Oh, the woes of being 21 and having a “Crush” on a singer-songwriter you were so lucky to interview and spend some time with before they became famous.  Just think, if I had said, “I think you’re cute,” well, I probably would have been more embarrassed and would be in no different of a situation than I am today.

But that little moment with Mr. Chariot taught me a good lesson.  Whether he was flirting or just being his cute self, I’m sure the silence emanating from me was a) not good for his ego, and b) not good for continuing conversation.  Because shortly after that, I think we went our separate ways.  The thing is, if someone does prompt some sort of flirtatious banter, and you do think he’s kind of swell, then don’t just stand there dumbstruck like I did, go along with it.  If that comment is left lingering in the air, then it’s eventually going to fall to the ground, and yeah, that’s a big letdown.  Take it in and then give it back, and it’ll ensure for some exciting conversation.

You’ve gotta take a risk in these situations, no matter how silly, or confused, you may feel.  The point of flirting is to let the other person know that you are interested.  You’re already out at dinner together, that’s a start.  You know there’s something there.  But maybe you want to show that you really like each other and are interested in continuing to see each other.  So if he says something (strangely) cute like, “I love the way pieces of bread get stuck in your long, gorgeous hair,” then don’t be thrown off.  Hopefully, it’s a cute joke to let you know you have bread stuck in your hair, which you can brush out quickly, and then can blush, knowing he likes your hair.  That little moment might not need an immediate flirt-back, but be sure to return the favor if you notice something special about him.  After all, there is a reason you are out with him, isn’t there?

If it’s a situation where it needs a quick response, like something comparable to, “Some people think I’m cute…” then, you’ve just gotta go for it.  No hesitations.  Because if you let that moment pass, you can’t really get it back.  So if he says something that throws you off, just say anything.

Like a simple, “That’s weird,” which is what I was thinking.

Or a nicer, “You can add me to the list.”

Either way, just remember, don’t hesitate, flirting should be fun, and no matter what his question or comment, when the spotlights on you, you have to follow through.                        


           

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.


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