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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Jennifer's Gems > Wisdom

by Jennifer Brown Banks

The True Sign of Wisdom
(Birthday Reflections)

June marks my birthday season! YIPPEE!

I'm elated and blessed to be among the living and enjoying good health and good spirits, (at least most days).

Each year, I make it a goal not to become just older, but wiser as well. And, as they say “you're only as old as you feel.”

As is typical of this “reflective” period, I'd like to share some stuff I've learned along the way, and also some areas in which I still struggle and hold to develop.

Here they are:

Areas of Struggle:

  1. I'm still trying to cultivate patience in dealing with people who don't keep their word, are irrational in nature, stubborn, and folks who cause me general stress because they don't think before they act.  Pray for me y'all.

  2. Holding my tongue---I have never been known for holding back what I feel.  I've always been a genuine person who says exactly what's on my mind.  For some folks that's my good point---for others it's my down side.  It all depends on who you talk to.  Anyhow, I'm trying to embrace a biblical reference that states “true wisdom is knowing when not to speak.” I'm working on it.  Pray for me y'all. I'm making progress though, I'm happy to report. Like when I read something on a fellow writers Blog recently that I knew was targeted towards me, and not exactly valid. But I smile inside knowing that comparatively speaking, I am the “voice of reason.” Let her  be “righteously wrong” if she chooses.

  3. Not eating meals after 6:30 p.m.---As we get older, it becomes more of an effort for women to keep our “girly figure.”

  4. Having exhaustingly high standards---So what if there are a few dishes left in the kitchen sink at the end of the day?  These days as a compromise, I'm stocking up on more paper products.;-)

Lessons I've Learned: 

  1. Happiness is a choice.

  2. Friends are the true treasures of life.  Mine are worth more than gold: Arlene, Deb, Lil, Maria, and the members of my poetry group in particular.

  3. Good decisions enhance the quality of life. Consider where you choose to live, whom you choose to love, the nature of friendships, and how you handle your finances to be amongst the most important ones.

  4. God is good. Sometimes we overlook daily blessings like a roof over our heads, food on the table, friends, health, and family.  Don't!

  5. Preserving one's health is one of the best gifts we can give to those who love us. Little things like drinking water daily, taking vitamins, exercise, maintaining a healthy weight and diet, and going for periodic health checks is essential.

  6. Enjoyable work adds richness to life!  Choose your vocation wisely.

  7. I'd rather be respected than popular. Popularity fades much like passing fads.  Not to mention, sometimes it's based on false perceptions or superficial things.

  8. It's true that the best revenge is a good life. Stop fretting and plotting revenge on former lovers and move forward in grace and dignity. 

  9. Never say things in anger that you can't take back.  Injurious comments can have an indefinite shelf life. In my younger years, I was guilty of this and paid a heavy price.  Take it from me---just walk away, or count to ten before you speak.

  10. You reap what you sow in life, whether it's personally or professionally. Treat folks the way you would like to be treated.  It makes life sweeter and less drama oriented.

So there you have it.  Another year of learned lessons, laughable moments, and gratitude in being able to share my growth and good fortune with you.

May you enjoy abundant blessings in the rest of 2009.



Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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