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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

Romantic Resolutions for 2010

It may be early for some of you to do strategic planning for next year, but it's never too soon
to resolve to live and love better. In fact, commit today!

I find that far too many folks feel that they must co-exist in dysfunctional, depleting relationships due to ratio woes, self-esteem issues, bitterness, unrealistic expectations, and poor relationship skills.

Don't be one of them.

Do you dream of a fairy tale romance? Would you like to have more peaceful, harmonious unions and meaningful memories?

If so, here are 10 things you need to resolve to in 2010.

  1. Don't let desperation compromise discernment. Sure, being alone can sometimes be a drag. And loneliness can cause bouts of depression and dismal days. But, to quote a famous song from Annie-- “The sun will come out tomorrow!” Often decisions that are made quickly can have long term consequences. Take the time to choose your romantic partners wisely. Resolve to get to know folks intimately before entering into intimate affairs.

  2. Resolve to be better not bitter in times ahead. Who hasn't been hurt by love? But that doesn't mean that you should swear off dating the opposite sex and be doomed to a  solitary life with your cat. Learn the lesson, then move on. Remember life is what you make of it.
  1. Never accept physical or emotional abuse as a way of life. Contrary to popular opinion, love is not supposed to hurt. If abuse is a dynamic in your relationship, flee fast. Forever.
  1. Committ to loving yourself first---Sure this may sound like a cliché, but instead it should be a cardinal rule that governs your interaction with others. The better you feel about yourself, the more you'll draw quality caliber people in to your inner circle. Self love will also assure that you will only accept treatment that is consistent with what you deserve.
  1. Keep an open mind and an open heart.  The Bible tells us that so a man thinketh so it is.” Be receptive to new people and new experiences. Broaden your horizons.
  1. Don't let first impressions fool you. We've all been told how important first impressions are in breaking and making one's image. Right? This may be an accurate barometer in business, but in personal relationships, we need to dig a bit deeper. In a previous column, I tell a story of a guy I met through a mutual friend whom I originally decided I wouldn't date again because he wasn't my type. He was much shorter in stature and not as rugged as men I'm usually attracted to. But, because I allowed myself to look beyond that first meeting, he and I eventually went on to date and enjoyed a very nice, rewarding relationship. Don't overlook the guy at work who's been giving you glances, but may not be on your level, or the geek at church. You just never know who has the potential to rock your world if allowed.;-)
  1. Resolve to be heart smart.  To quote Bonita Bennett of Being single Magazine, “We need to intellectualize love.” Though love is often said to be blind, there's no reason it has to be deaf and dumb too. Pay attention to red flags.
  1. Stay in the game. Don't let a few harsh blows in love knock you down completely. Resolve to persevere.
  1. Have relationship goals and a game plan. Where do you see yourself romantically in two months? How about in two years? Decide, devise a  plan, then work it!

10. Hold out to be cherished. If you feel you deserve the best, let your actions reflect this.  Sometimes you'll have to kiss a few frogs along the way and wait it out. Know that the love you desire is within your reach. Pray and be patient.

 


Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.


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