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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Jennifer's Gems > What Girls Wish Guys Knew

by Jennifer Brown Banks

What Girls Wish Guys Knew About Women

"The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste"

What I really dig about relationship writing is the opportunity to be a voice for the voiceless and the victimized.  To shed some light and defy some stereotypes.

Or in the words of Dr. Phil, “to provide some relationship rescue.”

Yep, from time to time I get to be the tell-it-like-it-is spokesperson for women worldwide who may have “issues” and dating dilemmas, but no platform of expression.

This is one of 'dem times.

When it comes to “Venus” and “Mars” there are so many misconceptions and so much misinformation.

In addition, men are being ill-advised by their “unenlightened” peers, and allowing their former bad experiences to serve as their current mentor.

All of this adds to the general chaos and calamities of mating and dating.


It's time for a paradigm shift.

Here's what today's evolved man needs to know about women and what makes us tick.

Get a paper and pen fellows..

  1. All women are not created equal.  Like Baskin Robbin's we come in an array of different colors, sizes, shapes and appeal to a variety of personal tastes. Your behavior and interaction should be based upon each of us as individuals, not as a result of stereotypes or astrological signs.
  1. Size does matter---the size of the heart.  One of the biggest turn-ons is a man who has a big heart and is not afraid to show it.
  1. What you reap you sow.  It's one of the universal laws of life.  It's even in the “good book.”   Trust that if you have cheated on chicks, been a general jerk, lied your way through relationships, and caused a lot of hurt and pain, it's coming back to ya'.  So straighten up and fly right before it's too late.  Karma is keeping records.
  1. The grass is not always greener on the other side. So many guys leave a good thing to gamble that a new “interest” will bring novelty and something better. Not always so.  Choose wisely.  And as recently stated by Joel Osteen in one of his weekly sermons, “Even if the grass is greener, you still have to mow the lawn.”
  1. The world is smaller than you think. If locker room “bravado” is part of your M.O., you might want to consider this.  Not only is bragging about your conquests immature and in poor taste, you never know when your words might fall upon the ears of the unwanted.  You're better than that.
  1. Nice guys don't finish last. See tip # 2.  It all depends on who's judging the race. I, for one, am drawn to nice guys who are considerate, nurturing, and sensitive to my feelings. Most mature, quality women would likely agree.
  1. Marriage is not a death sentence. Joining with a mate should enhance your life, not inhibit it. If you're dreading being “hitched”, it's possible you might have the wrong person. Also, you might want to consider that you're not giving up any more than we are.  Believe it or not, we are not all looking to be rescued.
  1. Lying leads to distrust and a lack of respect.  Not to mention, it insults our intelligence. Really guys, we see through your lies like Saran Wrap.
  1. In love and life there's always a trade-off.  Choose wisely. In the real world it's unlikely that you'll find a woman with Halle Berry's looks, Martha Stewart's culinary skills, Oprah's business savvy, and Pamela Anderson's body. Get real. Besides, what do you bring to the table? Do you look like Denzel? Have the six-packs of a rapper? Have the “bling” factor? Don't expect what you don't possess. Get my drift?
  1.  If we're “crazy” it's an “inherited condition” we acquired from dysfunctional men and the related drama.

By embracing these ten tips you'll ultimately have a greater understanding of the female psyche and the ways to woo our hearts and gain our affection.

Which creates a win-win situation for us all!  Here's to your success.;;-)


> - The best approach to find the one. <

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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