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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Jennifer's Gems > Pride


JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

Is Your Pride
Preventing Progress?

Don’t take my word for it.

It’s referenced in the “Good Book.”

Pride cometh before the fall! 

In other words, pride prevents progress. It’ll cause you to stumble…stagnate.

Now, don’t get me wrong; it would be hypocritical of me to suggest that I don’t have a prideful nature or stubborn streak from time to time. 

 

 When I feel I’m right about something, I hold on to my position like a nun holds on to her virginity! But there’s a time for pride and there’s a time for submission and humility.

“For everything there is a season.”

For example… If you’ve been dumped and didn’t deserve it, (and you gave the relationship your best), then be proud and exit from your ex. That’s a no-brainer.  Resist the urge to beg, bribe, or beat your lover back into your life. Have pride!

Or if you’ve experienced financial difficulty, due to a job loss or divorce, it’s okay to be “prideful” and reject help from others.  Of course that may mean a daily diet of beans and rice for a while, but it shows you’ve got a backbone.
 
But some folks clearly have too much pride, or pride about the wrong things.

Take for instance, a friend of mine who’s been writing for almost as long as Bic has been in business!  Still, despite her many rejection letters from editors, she refuses to accept my assistance in getting her work up to snuff!

Or another friend I know who can’t keep a job, an apartment, or a girlfriend, but won’t listen or heed others’ words of wisdom.  He’s one of those people who can be categorized as “those who fail to learn from the past are destined to repeat it.”

And last, but not least, are the legions of Black brothas that feel to accept instruction from a woman is emasculating.  Go figure. I kid you not.  I’ve seen folks fail and fall over and over again due to pride.  I’ve witnessed guys lose out on the love of their lives, because they wouldn’t apologize or reconcile over something silly, or reveal their true feelings.

Life is too short for this kind of nonsense.  Wouldn’t you agree?

With that being said, how do you know where to draw the line? 

When is it okay to possess pride, and when is it foolish?  Here are some pointers.

These are situations in which you should never have too much pride:

» Never have too much pride to reconcile a wrong.  If you are at fault, simply say you’re sorry. Don’t be stubborn and wait too late.  I did once, and lost a very dear friend as a result of it.  We often assume that there will be time later, tomorrow…but it doesn’t always work out this way.

» Never have too much pride to tell someone you love them.

» Never have too much pride to ask questions if you don’t understand something.

» Never have too much pride to accept advice from others that are successful in areas in which you may be struggling.

» Never have too much pride to work at a job you consider “beneath you.”

» Never have too much pride to listen to your mom.

Get it?  The famous crooners certainly do!

Check out these popular songs and artists that take humility, pleading and submission to a new height!  In fact, if you’re tongue tied, and at a loss for the right words, let these selections do the job for you.

JAMES BROWN --- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
ANITA BAKER --- I APOLOGIZE
KEITH SWEAT --- (ANY OF HIS SONGS)
THE JACKSON FIVE --- I WANT YOU BACK!
BILLY RAY CYRUS --- ACHEY BREAKY HEART
SMOKEY ROBINSON --- BABY, BABY

Whatever method you choose to move forward, just keep in mind the need for proper balance.  Too much pride can hinder emotional, financial, and professional strides! Let go your ego!


 


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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.


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