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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

Good "Partner Potential"
Do You Have It?

"You can tell a lot about others by the company they keep" ~ anonymous

I was listening to WVON Radio recently, when I overheard bachelors bemoaning how difficult it is to find the woman of their dreams.  This common complaint strikes me as unusual, given the ratio of women to men in the Black community.

What I find to be the culprit, quite often, is the criteria these men use to measure whether a woman is considered good partner potential.  For example, if a man places great emphasis on whether a woman wears designer clothes, has a French manicure, or is perfectly packaged, then he shouldn’t be surprised if this “vision of loveliness” fails to stimulate him mentally, has diva like tendencies, or is a gold-digger.

The same concept rings true with women who go for guys based upon the money they make, their careers, or the cars they drive. The search for a “quality” mate must be approached with maturity, realistic expectations, and a mindset of what constitutes “quality” choices.

Are you quality company? 

How do you measure as a potential mate? 

Take our quiz to find out. 

Answer yes or no to the following questions, as each applies to you and your characteristics.

1) Would most people consider you to be a good conversationalist? 
YES | NO

2) Are you neat and presentable in appearance?
YES | NO

3) Do you have a good sense of humor?
YES | NO

4) Do you have any interests outside of work?
YES | NO

5) Would most people consider you to have integrity?
YES | NO

6)  If you’re a woman, can you cook?  A man--- Can you fix things around the house?
YES | NO

7) Are you a person of your word?
YES | NO

8) Can you be trusted to keep the confidences of others?
YES | NO

9) Are you “passionate” about life?
YES | NO

10) Are you currently dealing with any “baby mama” or “baby daddy drama”?
YES | NO

11) Would others consider you a workaholic?
YES | NO

12) Do you have good self-esteem?
YES | NO

13) Have you ever been in a long-term relationship before (over 1 year)?
YES | NO

14) Do you exercise good judgment in personal and professional affairs?
YES | NO

15)  Have you read any good books lately?
YES | NO

16) Are you bitter based upon previous relationships?
YES | NO

17)  Is your home (or bachelor’s pad) clean and inviting?
YES | NO

18) Are you able to compromise when it comes to relationships?
YES | NO

19) Do you truly feel that you deserve a good relationship?
YES | NO

20) Do you practice the “Golden Rule”?
YES | NO

If you answered yes to 15 or more of the above questions, you have good partner potential!  If you answered yes to less than 15, perhaps you might want to address some self-improvement issues.   Realistically speaking, we shouldn’t expect from others what we fail to possess ourselves.

HERE ARE A FEW WAYS TO EXPAND YOUR DIMENSIONS OF DESIRABILITY.

» Be yourself. 
The more comfortable you are with who you are, the greater the likelihood that others will be as well.  Never compare or compete.

» Be well rounded. 
Expand your horizons.  Read different authors, tune into different music, try different foods, have associates from different cultures.  It will enrich your life and enhance your interactions with others.  For the guys, learn some salsa, or a few new dance moves to take your lovely lady “out on the town!”

» Get rid of the “excess baggage”. 
In the words of the Neville Brothers—“Everybody plays the fool sometimes.”  Get over it and move on.

» Be optimistic and inviting. 
In dating and mating personality counts!

» Put as much emphasis on your “core components” as you do your outer packaging.

» Never underestimate the importance of a good sense of humor. 
It’s a very desirable trait.

» Learn the art of effective listening. 
Be “interested” as well as “interesting”.

» Be a good conversationalist.
Don’t gossip; have intelligent ideas and engaging issues on which to speak.

By following these tips you’ll be a “mate magnet” in no time!

> Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one. <

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.