Bookmark and Share

Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Jennifer's Gems > Blackbook

by Jennifer Brown Banks

How to be
"Black Book" Worthy

A lot of chicks spend a great deal of time and money at beauty parlors and nail shops, believing that outer beauty is the key to success with the opposite sex.

No doubt, men are indeed visual creatures. 

But unless there is something to back up good looks, the unenlightened girl will find that her popularity will fade when she’s replaced with someone even prettier.

The savvy sister realizes that it’s not how she looks, but how she makes a man feel that keeps her name in his little black book. 

Don’t believe me?  Look at all the homely women on the arms of hunks. In the words of Maya Angelou, they’re “not cute or suited to fit a fashion model size.”

Yet these women’s social calendars would cause your jaws to drop! Their names are kept in the Black Books of men far and wide.  And it has little or nothing to do with sex.  Want to know their secret?  They are in demand because they are “phenomenal women”.

Here are 20 tips on how you can be a phenomenal woman:

1) Be pleasant to be around, as well as pleasant to look at. 

2) Don’t be a chronic complainer, nor come across as being stuck on yourself. You’ll wear out your welcome fast!

3) Be well rounded. Can you dance?  Speak another language? Speak sports? Quote scriptures?  It’s something to strive for.

4) Don’t air your dirty laundry to potential suitors.  Most times they really don’t care.  At least not initially.

5) Have a good sense of humor; it puts others at ease and makes the mood light.

6) Be a good listener.  Don’t monopolize conversations, or look bored.  Ask engaging questions to reflect interest in the other person.

7) Dress sexy without appearing sleazy.  Leave something to the imagination.  Dresses and skirts are always nice and feminine and go over successfully.

8) Be well read. It doesn’t have to be something heavy like War and Peace. Anything that stimulates conversation is a good start.

9) Be Smart and savvy---It’s a fallacy that men don’t like smart women.  A secure man will appreciate your intellectual value and be impressed by it.  Just don’t be condescending or boastful.

10) Be Genuine--- Forget what all the so-called “experts” say.  Be the best you that you can be, without the games and manipulation.  If he doesn’t accept it, then he’s simply not the guy for you!

11) Be sensuous and sensitive--- It’s an awesome combination!

12)  Be appropriate---About what you choose to share with him.  Reveal yourself in layers, through the progression of time.  Your personality and life details should unfold like an intriguing suspense novel, not like a quick tabloid.

13) Be gracious—Don’t call him on the carpet for every slight or mistake.

14) Let him know that he’s appreciated.  Whether it’s through words, small gifts, or affection.  Send him a naughty Email or text message.

15) Pamper him, when he deserves it.\

16) Be a good sport.  Sometimes take the occasional camping trip, or accompany him to a party with friends that you may not be crazy about.   And we’ve all probably had one or two to speak of.

17) Be a decent cook.  Even if you can only cook one or two dishes, it will make him feel fussed over and special. There are a number of online recipes that are great to try.

18) Let him do the chasing.  I don’t care how progressive we are as a society, part of the thrill for men is the chase!

19) Read him poetry.  It’s a nice personal touch.

20) Have your own opinion and your own money.

Follow these 20 tips and you’ll be the woman he can’t stop thinking about.  The one who remains in that little Black Book!


> - The best approach to find the one. <

All Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is © copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter to the Editor today or post a comment below.


Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Privacy Statement | Code of Ethics Statement
Bookmark Online Dating Magazine at

>View Online Dating Magazine Singles Travel Adventures<

Online Dating | News | Columns | Features | Dating Services | Niche Dating
Online Dating Directory | Dating Humor | Quick Tip Articles | Online Dating Industry
Industry History
| Online Dating Reviews | Reader Reviews | Dating Videos | Book / DVD Reviews
Reader Letters | Self Improvement | Experiences | Newsletter | Interviews
Top 10 Lists | STD Info Center | About Us | Advertise
Media Center
| FAQ | Search | Contact | Dating Promotions

Dating Cartoons | Dating Jokes | Funny Dating Videos | Dating Games

Online Dating Magazine Needs Your Help!

All content on this Website is ©copyright by Online
Dating Magazine. All Rights Reserved. The content
on this site may not be reused or republished.

Are you an online dating site Webmaster? If so...
If you are looking for free dating content you can republish, click here



Advertise on
Online Dating Magazine



Stay Up to Date:

Follow Us on Twitter

Follow Us on YouTube

Follow Us on Facebook


10 Most Viewed Articles:

Online Dating Tips
Opposites Attract
Online Dating Safety Tips
Rose Colors
Guys are Weird
Dating Games
Online Dating Reviews
Creative Date Ideas
Long Distance Relationships
Dealing with a Breakup

Other Resources:

These links will take you away from Online Dating Magazine.

Google (Google Your Date)
Research Dating Service)

MailOrderBride Guide

Note: Online Dating Magazine does not sell text links anywhere on the site, so please don't email asking about text links. Any links we have are affiliate links, resources we find useful, links to other sites we run or long-time magazine sponsors. We do have graphic ad options in our Advertising section.