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Online Dating Experience 04
Being Caught Unaware

25 year old female from California

Editor's Note
This is the second of four consecutive online dating experiences shared by "Polly". Her experiences are numbers 3, 4, 5, and 6 in the Online Dating Experiences section.

I am here with another experience of what not to do when dating. Today's lesson is about being caught unaware.

As you all know, I have been traversing the expansive Internet Dating Web to try and find true happiness. The following is an account of what can (and will) go wrong.

In an earlier experience, I explained a lovely gentleman who regaled me with stories of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (from being a nurse), and a battle with Narcotic addiction. I had no issue with the Recovery form Narcotic addiction, it seemed however, to be consuming his life. I ended it after two dates when, upon ending the second date, he asked me to exclusively see him. I refused (for obvious and not so obvious reasons) and we "broke up".

A month later, I was sleeping soundly at Midnight on a Saturday (party animal this girl), and there was a knock at my front door. I jumped from my bed in a white panic (I had fallen asleep with the TV on), and ran for the door, grabbing a blanket to cover myself. I went to the front window to see who it was and wondering if someone had the wrong apartment (I don’t have many people over, I value my privacy). Upon parting the blinds, I heard my name and a familiar voice saying "It's Guido" (some names have been changed to protect the annoying).

I answered the door in nothing more than a blanket and a fine layer of shock. He asked, "Were you sleeping?" I wanted to say no, but I can’t lie. "Yes, can I call you tomorrow?" "Sure I would have called but I washed my Cell Phone in my pants." (Well that explains everything!) Ok, I thought, lets move this along. I said goodbye (doing my best Sleeping Beauty impression) and closed the door.

Now here's the distressing part. This man has never been to my house and only has my cell phone number. He had no way of knowing where I lived or how to obtain the information. There is no Cell Phone directory (especially not one that gives out addresses), my home phone is unlisted, and I NEVER TOOK HIM TO MY HOUSE!!!!

So two days later, I called to see what this was all about. Now I was pretty incensed about rudely showing up and not calling. Also I had a bone to pick with him for coming to my house. I asked the obvious question, “What did you need Guido?” He stated that he was in the neighborhood and just wanted to say hi. He referenced that he saw my lights on and my TV was on in the bedroom. I asked how he knew the TV was on, and he replied that he could see it from the window (yes, he was, I think the cops call it, PEEPING). I asked how he found where I lived and he creepily replied that he had an easier time looking for me when I had out of state plates on my car. (Spooky Spooky).

Needless to say, I ended the conversation quickly. It was rather scary and an experience I will not forget easily. Here is what I should have done:

Guido: "Hi are you sleeping"

Polly: "Yes you pervert, how did you find my house?"

Guido: "It was easier when you had Out of State Plates on your car."

Polly: "Are you insane?"

Guido: "I may be, does it turn you on?"

Polly: "No you freak, go or I will call the cops"

Guido: "I'm sorry, I didn’t realize how much I have distressed you by my midnight visit. I am so sorry, I will never darken your doorstep again and you will live in peace and harmony for all time. God Bless You Polly and God Bless your home which I have soiled with my mere presence."

Polly: "I'm glad you have finally come to realize the error of your ways. Thank you and your apology is accepted. Now go in peace and try to refrain from stalking your next date."

See how easy that could have been?

The moral of this experience is, be cognizant of who you date and how much they know about you. Remember that the potential anonymity of the Internet is colored by those who will use the net to find easy marks and people who do not question oddity. Remember that the Internet is a way for anyone to say anything. Remember that the Internet has the potential to aid in some of the biggest lies of all time. If a hacker can break the FBI firewall, some Don Juan can talk pretty and crack your firewall just as easily.

If you have "chatted" with someone for a while and believe that you know him or her, make sure that on your first date, you treat him or her with the same caution with which you would treat any other date. Getting to know someone by typing is not always the best way to get to know someone. Regardless, keep yourself safe.

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