DatingMashup.com


 
Bookmark and Share

Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Date & Relate > The Single Life

Date & Relate
by Sara Hodon

Are You Ready to Give Up The Single Life?

There’s a lot to be said for being on the dating scene, and even more for settling into a serious relationship.  It takes some work to get out there time and again, hoping to meet the right one.  When you do find them and you fall in love, there’s really no better feeling in the world.  But by the same token, how many times have you heard your attached friends say that they wouldn’t mind a bit of their single life—and the freedom that comes with it—back, even for a little while?  I guess it goes back to the “grass is always greener” mentality. 

I’ve had a few serious relationships, but truth be told, I’ve been single more than I’ve been with someone.  I’ve said it before—I don’t like dating.  It’s so hard to open up to someone, try to connect with them, and keep those less-than-stunning parts of yourself hidden for a decent amount of time, only to have it go down in flames some time later?  But that’s just my opinion.  Plenty of singles out there thrive on filling up their social calendars, whether it’s with the same date or if they’re playing the field with a few different people. 

 

Although I’d much rather be in a relationship than be single, but I admit, it’s hard to shake the “single” mindset.  When you’re used to only having to worry about yourself, it takes some time to get used to taking someone else’s thoughts/feelings/opinions into consideration.  You can’t just take off and spend hours in the mall, window shopping by yourself—out of courtesy, you should check in with the other person and see what they were planning for the day.  You have to figure out where you’re going for the holidays—will you be spending it with your family, or his?  Or both?  Then, of course, you have to introduce them to your family and friends (and vice versa) and hope everyone gets along, to name just a few changes to your life that you can typically expect.   

Who needs the stress?!?

Plenty of singles out there are perfectly happy living life solo.  The idea of not being obligated to someone else, the freedom to come and go as you please, and make decisions that affect you alone definitely has its appeal.  I know that I value my freedom, and my “alone time” is precious.  But when it comes down to it, it’s reassuring to know that you have someone who “gets” you, and who will be there for you, no matter what.  I’ve spent enough Saturday nights solo, and been dateless to enough weddings, to know which status I prefer. 

But making the transition from “single” to “attached” takes some time.  You know yourself better than anyone else.  You know your every habit and quirk.   You’re probably into your own comfortable little routine, and now that’s all changed to make room for this new and wonderful person.  And you’re happy to do it.  Isn’t this what you’ve suffered through countless blind dates and writing the perfect online profile and buying how many new date outfits to find?  But still—it’s an adjustment. 

Once you shake yourself out of your old, single routine, enjoy each other!  The first few weeks of a new relationship are usually the most exciting.  You’re finding out about this new person—their likes, dislikes, thoughts, feelings, and opinions—and of course, the intimacy in the early stage is often the most intense and passionate of the entire relationship. It can often feel as if you’re being swept away—I know that sounds totally corny and clichéd, but if you are crazy attracted to the other person, that’s exactly how it feels.  There are a lot of strong emotions going on, and as with any matter of the heart, there’s some risk involved.  Will you fall in love, or not make it past the “lust” stage?  If it does end (not that anyone wants to think about that), how will it end?  It’s really more than one person should have to handle. 

Camping out on the couch in sweats eating ice cream, or sticking with your familiar and comfortable social circle is much less devastating, don’t you agree?

Serial singles have plenty of reasons for not pursuing relationships.  I have friends who are actively, chronically single—no spouse or family for them!—and wouldn’t change a thing.  Being happy with yourself and your life is a choice, and for plenty of folks, their choice is to be happy as an unattached person. 

Most of us have enough in our lives to keep us busy—career, friends, volunteer work, outside interests, family obligations—and “spouse” or “partner” doesn’t make it onto that list for everyone.  Some singles feel more complete when they’re involved with someone; others, not. 

If you’re striking out on the dating scene over and over again, it might be time to ask yourself if you’re doing it on purpose on some level—maybe you really are happy to be unattached.  Plenty of singles set standards that are so high or so specific, they’re almost impossible for anyone to meet them.  Maybe on some level, they really don’t want to.

 


Date & Relate is published every Thursday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Sara Hodon. She can be reached at sarhodon@yahoo.com.


>
Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one. <


All Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is © copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter to the Editor today or post a comment below.


 


blog comments powered by Disqus


Privacy Statement | Code of Ethics Statement
Bookmark Online Dating Magazine at Del.icio.us

>View Online Dating Magazine Singles Travel Adventures<

Online Dating | News | Columns | Features | Dating Services | Niche Dating
Online Dating Directory | Dating Humor | Quick Tip Articles | Online Dating Industry
Industry History
| Online Dating Reviews | Reader Reviews | Dating Videos | Book / DVD Reviews
Reader Letters | Self Improvement | Experiences | Newsletter | Interviews
Top 10 Lists | STD Info Center | About Us | Advertise
Media Center
| FAQ | Search | Contact | Dating Promotions

Dating Cartoons | Dating Jokes | Funny Dating Videos | Dating Games

Online Dating Magazine Needs Your Help!

All content on this Website is ©copyright by Online
Dating Magazine. All Rights Reserved. The content
on this site may not be reused or republished.

Are you an online dating site Webmaster? If so...
If you are looking for free dating content you can republish, click here

 

 



Advertise on
Online Dating Magazine



Menu:

 

Stay Up to Date:

Follow Us on Twitter

Follow Us on YouTube

Follow Us on Facebook

 


10 Most Viewed Articles:

Online Dating Tips
Opposites Attract
Online Dating Safety Tips
Rose Colors
Guys are Weird
Dating Games
Online Dating Reviews
Creative Date Ideas
Long Distance Relationships
Dealing with a Breakup

Other Resources:

These links will take you away from Online Dating Magazine.

Google (Google Your Date)
BBB (
Research Dating Service)

MailOrderBride Guide

Note: Online Dating Magazine does not sell text links anywhere on the site, so please don't email asking about text links. Any links we have are affiliate links, resources we find useful, links to other sites we run or long-time magazine sponsors. We do have graphic ad options in our Advertising section.