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Date & Relate
by Sara Hodon

Public Display of Annoyance

Don’t you just love it when you’re walking down the street or window shopping at the mall, minding your own business, and you come across a couple who can’t seem to keep their hands off each other?

And not just a little bit, either.  I mean the couples who look like they’re giving each other tonsillectomies and are about two seconds away from a strip search.  And yet, in those situations I’m usually more embarrassed than they are.   Nine times out of ten, they’re completely oblivious to the rest of the world and continue with their impromptu sex display.


Get a room, people!

I like holding hands and little loving gestures as much as the next person.   I think it’s nice when couples are sweet and affectionate with each other.  Physical contact is definitely important.  But there’s a difference between a peck on the cheek and cutting off a person’s oxygen supply because your tongue is down their throat.  A big difference.  You would think that most folks would be aware of this, but I’m sure most of you have seen couples who still need this little friendly reminder.

Here’s a perfect example.  Last summer my co-worker and I were at a concert.  By sheer luck, we’d scored awesome seats—third row!  We were delirious with our sudden seat upgrade and sort of acting like dorks.  After a few minutes, we noticed this couple a few rows in front of us who were putting on an even more interesting show than the one we’d paid to see.  The guy had his hands all over his date/girlfriend/wife.  The groping continued for a good part of the show; at one point he swept her up into a bear hug and picked her up off the ground.  I guess his sudden passionate outburst was too much for him.  He lost his balance and took out the whole row of chairs (luckily everyone else in their row was standing up!) His lady went right down onto the ground.   “Good for you!” we said meanly.  It was a concert, not an amateur porno flick.   

Another time, I was at a dance with some friends.  It’s always fun to people watch at these types of events, especially when the alcohol is flowing.  Sure enough, my group honed in on one couple who was quickly moving from a nice, G-rated slow dance to some serious gyrating.   They looked sort of ridiculous.    

And as a third example, one night I was out at the bar with my new guy.  It was your usual close,  loud, smoke-filled bar, full of individuals on barstools either catching up with old friends or hoping to make some new ones (if you catch my drift).  I was thoroughly enjoying the company, and all of a sudden we both noticed some…activity…going on in the far, semi-dark corner of the room.  A guy and a girl were doing some serious making out.  This was going far beyond a PDA—this was venturing into “Should we leave you two alone?” territory, complete with some heavy duty groping.  Oh so tasteful and romantic (or not). 

What is it with these couples?  Are they just so consumed with each other and their unexpected urges that they have to suck face anytime, anywhere?  I can understand that when you first get involved in a new relationship, sure, your hormones kick into overdrive and you do pretty much suck face anytime, anywhere.   But after awhile, once you get the “newness” out of both of your systems, you get into a more normal routine and the initial lust fades a bit.   But I’ve seen couples that have been together longer who often don’t know how to hold back.  Are they so  overrun with passion, or are they merely being rude and inconsiderate?  And really, who are they trying to convince that their love life is hot, hot, hot—us, or themselves?  (Overcompensate much?)

 All I’m saying is—of course you should show your affectionate side and be generous with the hugs, kisses, and reassuring caresses.  They’re nice—that’s the good stuff and one of my favorite parts of being in a relationship.  But there is some common courtesy involved, too.  If you can’t restrain yourself in public, please think of others—excuse yourself, go somewhere private and do your thing.  The way I see it is this:  I’m not inviting you into my bedroom for a private show, so I don’t need a sneak peek of what you’ll be doing in yours, OK?


Date & Relate is published every Thursday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Sara Hodon. She can be reached at

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