![]() |
||
![]() |
||
Old habits are harder to let go of than we realize. I think about how the electricity went off in our house the other day and even though I knew that, every time I walked into a darkened room, I tried to switch on the lights. Another example of unconscious behavior happened when I changed the drawer for the silverware a year ago. The utensils are now in another place. You would think I would remember that when I get ready to set the table. But at least once a day, I open the old drawer. Obviously, my former habits are deeply programmed into me. From these small experiences, I can understand how hard it is for someone to change or let go of what they are used to doing with an old friend and how they might resent you. It happened to me when I met some of my future husband’s friends. At first, one married couple thought I was great. Soon, however, the dawning occurred that he had new priorities. They were no longer the number one social activity in his life. With his new plans and new dreams he shared with me, he stopped spending every free evening with them. They were not happy campers. The friendship did not survive, but the lessons did. Boundaries Boundaries are the necessary lines we draw to protect us. They protect our health and happiness from the damaging behavior of others. They are the limitations we set that let people know how close they can come. They are also there to keep us from reaching out to people who have shown that they can’t be friends. Taking Care of Yourself To set tighter boundaries is to say goodbye to people, activities, and habits that drain energy. If you feel tired, upset, or troubled, time after time, when you have been in certain situations, chances are, it’s time to let go. When you know what is authentically good for you, perhaps you’ll know when to say “no” to a long list of demands you have been tolerating. We cling to our habits and our ways and our existing relationships out of a sense of familiarity or misguided loyalty. Sometimes, the people in our lives (for reasons they don’t even understand) would rather see us stay the same and be miserable rather than change and ultimately be happy. So get your boundaries in place. It’s important to remember that there is always a possible collision course—when your old friends meet your new friend.
|
||
blog comments powered by Disqus
Privacy Statement | Code of Ethics Statement
Bookmark Online Dating Magazine at Del.icio.us
>View Online Dating Magazine Singles Travel Adventures<
Online Dating | News | Columns | Features | Dating
Services | Niche
Dating
Online
Dating Directory | Dating
Humor | Quick
Tip Articles | Online
Dating Industry
Industry History | Online Dating
Reviews | Reader
Reviews | Dating Videos | Book
/ DVD Reviews
Reader
Letters | Self Improvement | Experiences | Newsletter | Interviews
Top
10 Lists | STD
Info Center | About
Us | Advertise
Media Center | FAQ | Search | Contact | Dating Promotions
Dating Cartoons | Dating Jokes | Funny Dating Videos | Dating Games
Online Dating Magazine Needs Your Help!
All
content on this Website is ©copyright by Online
Dating Magazine. All Rights Reserved. The content
on this site may not be reused or republished.
Are
you an online dating site Webmaster? If so...
If
you are looking for free dating content you can republish,
click here