1.
Actions
You won’t have a date unless you DO something
to get one. This is the number one reason people do
not find the love of their life. You have to take the
actions that lead you out of the house to meet others.
When you get there, you have to talk and be friendly.
2.
Beliefs
If you believe you can’t attract the
one you want—you won’t. Beliefs propel
us forward or hold us back. If you think your age,
weight, finances, education, looks or even your location
stand in your way, then they probably do. Examine what
your negative beliefs are and work on re-programming
them. Tell yourself, “I am fabulous. I am ready
to date.”
3.
Attitude
Arrogance, entitlement, poor-me, hopelessness,
despair, or thinking of yourself as a victim of others
are attitudes that do not wear well in the dating
world. Would you want to go out with someone who
complains all the time or acts like they are better
than others or thinks the world owes them something?
Ask your friends how you come across. You may be
surprised at some of their answers.
4.
Body Image
Most people are never satisfied with the
way they look. What do you say to yourself when you
look at your shape? The more you dislike your body,
the more likely you are to neglect or mistreat it.
When you meet others, you reveal this self-loathing
in the way you act. How can someone love you when
you don’t
love yourself? Get yourself to the gym and make the
most of what you have. You should not expect more from
yourself than that—or you are being unkind to
the very person who needs your support the most—you.
5.
Social Skills
If you are shy, your natural inclination
is to retreat. You may then come up with one excuse
after another why you can’t go out or why there
isn’t anyone “out there” for you.
If you are sincere about wanting to meet someone, you
are going to have to push through this challenge. Practice
social skills by going to the mall—alone—and
approaching (safe) strangers. (Talk to an older person
of the same gender as you.) Ask them a question and
keep talking if they are responsive. What you will
discover is that people want to talk to you.
6.
Confidence
Nothing attracts the one you want like
confidence. How do you get it if you feel you don’t have
it? The old fashioned way—you earn it. You strive
for excellence in everything you do from your job to
your friendships. Confidence is not swaggering, loud,
or arrogant. Confidence is quiet. Confidence is forgiving—of
you and of others, allowing people to be the way they
are. It’s also an inner knowing that, at the
end of the day, you were honest and loyal and you did
the best you could.
7.
Perseverance
Many people give up too easily. They
think they are being rejected or not respected and
they make a decision not to go out and try again.
It takes work and courage to get up every day and
extend you to the world once more. Keep your boundaries
tucked in tight around you and it won’t
be so menacing out there.
8.
Communication
People who don’t communicate well do not get dates. If you
are not friendly, do not ask questions to get to know
others, and do not share information about yourself
in a sincere way, no one will know who you are. In
order to be able to draw people to you in a way that
causes them to care, think about some of life’s
funniest moments. (Did your hair turn bright orange
when you tried once to go blond?) What is meaningful
to you? (Did you volunteer in a nursing home or serve
in a soup kitchen?) And what do you admire in others?
(Do you love the come-from-behind teams who win the
Super Bowl or the World Series in spite of the odds?)
Start with these three areas of conversation and go
from there.
9.
Validation
People like to be around other people
who validate them. Giving someone a genuine compliment
goes a long way towards building a bridge to him
or her. If people feel like you see them, hear them,
and care about them, they want to be around you.
10.
Quality
And finally, people want to be around someone
of quality. Are you proud of your accomplishments?
Is your family proud of you? Do you strive for excellence
in your field of work? Do you get the help you need
when you are lost, vulnerable, or floundering? Becoming
a person of quality is an inside job, starting with
knowing what is important to you, and then, honoring
those values.
Savvy
Singles