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by Jennifer Brown Banks

Volume Dating?

The other night, while watching T.V., I came across a show called “How to Get the Guy.” As the name implies, the show’s objective is to give single women who are otherwise savvy, tips on how to land the right man.

In this particular episode, the concept of volume dating was discussed as a strategy for snagging a partner. According to the love coaches on the program, dating success is a numbers game! The more you date, the more likely you are to increase the odds of hooking up with the hunk of your dreams.

Theoretically it would make sense. But as many single women can attest, the pickings can be a bit slim. To give an example, here’s what often permeates the dating scene for women regardless of race, religion, creed, or education.

Characters You've Probably Met:

Beer Belly Bob — Bob is a man with uncompromising taste. He likes his women to have “trophy” status (36-24-36). He feels that a fella’ has a right to like what he likes, and sees nothing wrong in seeking out the best. The problem? Bob is balding, 50 lbs. overweight and hasn’t been able to touch his toes in over a decade!

Cheap Chester — Chester wants to give his girl the world! As long as there’s a coupon for it, or a two for one deal. He counts every penny he spends, although he has a good job with all the successful trappings. Chester views romance as a potential investment and keeps a running tally in his head of every dollar, everyday. If a girl is lucky, and he’s really into her, she may get to “super size” her meal at his favorite eatery, McDonald’s.

Paul the Player — Paul is gorgeous to look at and fun to be with. He’s tall, handsome and exciting. Knows how to make a woman feel special. The downside is that he’s usually making too many women feel special simultaneously. Seeing love as a game, he strings women along and devastates lives. Here today, gone tomorrow!

Lionel the Liar — He’s the master of deception; full of lies and alibis. Keeping up with all the details of his fables can be exhausting. He insults the intelligence and erodes the respect factor.

Deadbeat Don — Don likes to keep things “smooth and easy”. After all, he’s a free spirit. Don refuses to date women with kids, feeling it will cramp his style. He’s a mover and shaker and can often be found wherever the “happenings” are. Unfortunately, he sees nothing wrong with his having offspring from Ohio to Alaska! And rarely supports them.

“Finding Himself" Fred — Fred doesn’t have a job or a clue. At thirty, he still occupies his momma’s basement as he ponders life’s complexities, and considers the question “to be or not to be?”

Married Michael — This Casanova fails to reveal his true marital status until he has landed a woman hook, line, and sinker. And when he does, he promises he’ll leave his wife as soon as she recovers from her illness, or as soon as the kids grow up, or as soon as he can afford the divorce, or as soon as his mother can handle it, or sooner or later!

Volume Dating Advantages
Still, if you’re brave and optimistic, (and I hope you are), volume dating offers the following advantages:

» Dating multiple parties offers variety and affords the possibility of all your mental, social, spiritual and emotional needs being met. As long as there is no deception involved and no multiple sex partners.

» It speeds the process of trial and error.

» It offers freedom of choice.

» It helps develop your social skills and skills of discernment.

» It can broaden your knowledge of men.

» Some of the men may end up as future friends, if there is a lot found in common, yet more of a platonic than romantic connection.

» It helps you to answer the age-old question… which is better, quality or quantity?

Jen Recommends:

Date Like A Man:
What Men Know About Dating and Are Afraid You'll Find Out

Smart Women/Foolish Choices:
Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones

> - The best approach to find the one. <

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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