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JENNIFER'S
GEMS
by Jennifer Brown
Banks
RX for Rejection
“One man’s junk is another
man’s treasure.”
Rejection can be real rough on the ego.
And I should know.
As a professional writer for more than a decade, I
still have to deal with it on a continual basis. Over
and over again. No matter how proficient or widely
published I become, it’s a constant.
The most
recent of which inspired this column.
A few weeks ago I wrote an article about
the craft of writing, and sent it off to an editor
with whom I had worked many times, and sold quite a
few pieces.
I anxiously awaited her gleaming praise,
and a double-digit check to be put in the mail shortly
thereafter!
What I got shocked me. Not only was my article rejected,
it received rather harsh criticism. So much so that
I began to question
whether I had somehow lost my touch.
Because
I valued this editor’s opinion so highly, I became frustrated
and started to toss the piece altogether. But I had
a second thought. After I had a pity party, I took
it out and looked at it again with a new set of eyes
— being as objective
and open as I could about what I had created.
And
I stood by my work. I didn’t agree with
her assessment. The changes didn’t feel right.
But who was I to question the professional opinion
of a well-regarded editor? And did it make sense to
hold my opinion higher than hers?
Well, it turns out
it did.
A week after her doom and gloom decision, I submitted
it elsewhere.
And would you believe another editor bought it within
an hour, without virtually any changes!
“It looks good,” he said. “I’ll
send a check in the mail!” In the end, I ended
up making more money, and got a column idea out of
the deal!
There’s a moral to this story worth heeding.
Never hold anyone else’s regard higher than your
own. To quote a popular expression “One man’s
junk is another man’s treasure!” The same
holds true when it comes to relationships.
I have a friend who was so deeply wounded by her ex-boyfriends
rejection and ultimate departure, that it was hard
for her to see herself as being attractive
or worthy to another man. He took her to some pretty dark places. Despite
the fact that she’s fun to be around,
kind, and well liked, she suffered from very low self-esteem.
She didn’t date for years.
As
time heals all wounds, she’s since then recovered.
Now, she has met a man online that she has been dating
for
about six months who absolutely cherishes her!
And she couldn’t be happier.
So,
the next time you’re faced with rejection,
here’s what to discover and how you can recover!
» Don't
Take it Personally.
Whether
it’s on a personal or professional level, many
times rejection is about the other person’s needs,
not your personal worth.
» Keep
Looking.
Don’t
take yourself completely out of the game due to
a few bumps and bruises. Instead,
look for the lesson, keep your head high, and keep
your eye on the prize.
» Take
Some Down Time to Clear Your Head.
» Get
a Second Opinion.
Sometimes acceptance
is merely based upon personal preference or timing.
And there’s
really no science or formula to it
» Realize
that Rejection is a Part of Life; Develop a Thick
Skin.
» Believe
in Who You Are and Know That You Have Value as
You are, Unaltered.
» Read
and Embrace Positive Affirmations Daily.
» Don't
Become Bitter; Become Better!
» Deal
with Rejection with Maturity.
Not even God has a 100% approval rate (and He should).
» Learn
that Rejection can be a Tool for Improvement if
Used Properly.
» If
You've Given a Situation (or Mate) Your Best, Don't
Live with Regrets.
Move forward.
» Never
Second Guess Your Greatness!
> Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one.
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Jennifer's
Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning
poet and writer, Jennifer
Brown Banks. It is published
every Wednesday. Click
here to read
her welcome letter.
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