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by Jennifer Brown Banks

RX for Rejection

“One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.”

Rejection can be real rough on the ego. And I should know.
As a professional writer for more than a decade, I still have to deal with it on a continual basis. Over and over again. No matter how proficient or widely published I become, it’s a constant.

The most recent of which inspired this column.

A few weeks ago I wrote an article about the craft of writing, and sent it off to an editor with whom I had worked many times, and sold quite a few pieces.

I anxiously awaited her gleaming praise, and a double-digit check to be put in the mail shortly thereafter!


What I got shocked me. Not only was my article rejected, it received rather harsh criticism. So much so that I began to question whether I had somehow lost my touch.

Because I valued this editor’s opinion so highly, I became frustrated and started to toss the piece altogether. But I had a second thought. After I had a pity party, I took it out and looked at it again with a new set of eyes — being as objective and open as I could about what I had created.

And I stood by my work. I didn’t agree with her assessment. The changes didn’t feel right. But who was I to question the professional opinion of a well-regarded editor? And did it make sense to hold my opinion higher than hers?

Well, it turns out it did.

A week after her doom and gloom decision, I submitted it elsewhere.

And would you believe another editor bought it within an hour, without virtually any changes!

“It looks good,” he said. “I’ll send a check in the mail!” In the end, I ended up making more money, and got a column idea out of the deal!

There’s a moral to this story worth heeding. Never hold anyone else’s regard higher than your own. To quote a popular expression “One man’s junk is another man’s treasure!” The same holds true when it comes to relationships.

I have a friend who was so deeply wounded by her ex-boyfriends rejection and ultimate departure, that it was hard for her to see herself as being attractive or worthy to another man. He took her to some pretty dark places.

Despite the fact that she’s fun to be around, kind, and well liked, she suffered from very low self-esteem. She didn’t date for years.

As time heals all wounds, she’s since then recovered. Now, she has met a man online that she has been dating for about six months who absolutely cherishes her! And she couldn’t be happier.

So, the next time you’re faced with rejection, here’s what to discover and how you can recover!

» Don't Take it Personally.
Whether it’s on a personal or professional level, many times rejection is about the other person’s needs, not your personal worth.

» Keep Looking.
Don’t take yourself completely out of the game due to a few bumps and bruises. Instead, look for the lesson, keep your head high, and keep your eye on the prize.

» Take Some Down Time to Clear Your Head.

» Get a Second Opinion.
Sometimes acceptance is merely based upon personal preference or timing. And there’s really no science or formula to it

» Realize that Rejection is a Part of Life; Develop a Thick Skin.

» Believe in Who You Are and Know That You Have Value as You are, Unaltered.

» Read and Embrace Positive Affirmations Daily.

» Don't Become Bitter; Become Better!

» Deal with Rejection with Maturity.
Not even God has a 100% approval rate (and He should).

» Learn that Rejection can be a Tool for Improvement if Used Properly.

» If You've Given a Situation (or Mate) Your Best, Don't Live with Regrets.
Move forward.

» Never Second Guess Your Greatness!

> - The best approach to find the one. <

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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