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by Jennifer Brown Banks

Hair Snobs
And Other Hair Raising Issues!

Sometimes women can really be silly and superficial when it comes to judging one another. Particularly when it comes to mane maintenance. Many females foolishly see hairstyles as status symbols, especially in the Black community.

In fact, it’s not uncommon to get a raised eyebrow, a chuckle, or a finger-point, if your hair is not “on point!”


As someone who can sometimes serve as a poster child for bad hair days, here's the deal... A woman’s hair is only her “crowning glory” if she carries herself like a queen!

In other words, a hundred dollar hair-do cannot and should not compensate for a dime-store personality. Or the I.Q. and personality of a rock.

Even when I parade around in a less than perfect state, folks should make no mistake about it; I’m all woman. And because I am confident in this, sometimes a beauty parlor appointment may take a back seat to a needed furnace repair, home emergency, or keeping bill collectors at bay.

One friend of mine also shared how she had been given a hard time at work because she chose to go against the grain and wear her hair in braids, in what is considered a “conservative environment.”

To each his own.

I’ve always believed that “beauty is as beauty does.” And certainly, what’s “on your head” should be less important than “what’s in it”!

So for all the high-falutin’ heifers that feel superior by virtue of their labored over locks, know this… THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE PERM! And next time I'll name names.

Be Careful What You Wish For
I’ll never forget my music class at North Park University. It seemed like I waited forever to be admitted. It was a popular elective with students, and I prayed that it wouldn’t be filled this time, so I’d be able to take it for the fall semester.

What I should have prayed for was what I really wanted: an easy class to help maintain my high “B” average, with a few handsome hunks to give me something to look forward to at 8:00 a.m. on Saturday mornings.

What I ended up with was a stern, elderly professor, a bunch of chicks, and a “D” as a final grade for the course. I did walk away with a very valuable lesson that wasn’t part of the curriculum: be careful what you wish for!

Such was the case, too, in terms of my “wish-list” for a mate.
My former beau, Hank, initially seemed to be sent from God. Though I never formally petitioned him in prayer, he was, in many ways, custom-made just the way I like ‘em! Dude was tall, good looking, successful, a great conversationalist, and super smart. I thought he was it!

But, Hank was high drama. After a few months of our on again off again relationship, I realized my mistake. I hadn’t been specific. I wished for the wrong thing.

I forgot to let God know that character in a man, to me, was more important than cuteness. I left out the fact that I wanted my soul mate to be spiritual, honest, kind, and committed.

I neglected to mention that I wanted someone who would appreciate me for my internal qualities, as well as the external.
What I ended up with was a guy with a lot of glitter, very little substance, and a lot of sleepless nights.

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

The Best Medicine
“The most wasted of all our days are those in which we have not laughed.” ~Nicholas-Sebastian De Chamfort

Though many underestimate the restorative healing power of laughter, studies show that it is indeed one of life’s best medicines. Forget costly cures, pill popping, or “happy hour” indulgences at the local bar.

Humor is free, it’s mood altering, liberating, and it can increase longevity.

According to The Doctor’s Guide to Instant Stress Relief, the psychology of humor is complex. A scientific study reveals that Americans laugh an average of fifteen times a day, and that laughter reduced stress as much as biofeedback training.

Laughter is a great stress eliminator because it increases the heart rate, breathing activity, and produces natural pain killing chemicals.

Heard a good joke lately? You should!

Be sure to check out Online Dating Magazines’ cartoons for a weekly chuckle.

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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