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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Jennifer's Gems > City Chicks / Southern Belles

by Jennifer Brown Banks

Dispelling the Myths:
Which is Better - City Chicks or Southern Belles?

I was engaged in conversation on the phone the other night with a male friend of mine from the south, when something he said amused and surprised me.

As we discussed love and life, he shared with me that there is a perceived difference between Northern women and Southern Belles. Rumor has it (according to him), that women from the North are not considered as being as domestic or nurturing to our men. Take it from someone who knows; nothing could be further from the truth.


Here’s the real deal. I was born and raised in the big city. And I’m proud of it. Because the city is so vast, and men here can pick and choose, (and the brothers are super fine), you better believe the sisters here have to be on top of their game!

For example, it’s not unusual for us to be pretty and primped in our pumps, attend a boardroom meeting during the day, delegate to a staff of employees, and then come home and throw down on some smothered pork chops, fried corn, and rice and gravy! And did I mention the glass of wine and dessert? Because we know that someone else will if we won’t. Not only that, but living in the city presents a lot of hustle and bustle and stress. So when we get to unwind and spend quality time with our MAN, let’s just say it’s “quality” in every sense of the word!

Yes, city chicks can offer the best of both worlds. We are independent and progressive. We are educated, sophisticated, and domesticated. Many of us own our own homes, make our own money, and have our own opinions.

But, there is a drawback. A man had better “come correct” or in the words of singer Beyonce, he’ll find that he’s not “irreplaceable”. Whereas Southern Belles may have a reputation for being “genteel”, city chicks will tell you how they feel, and not be overly concerned about the roughness they employ in “keeping it real.” We love our men deeply and dearly. And we are women of God as well. This is not to suggest that our Southern sisters don’t possess the same qualities.

I have female relatives from the south and they are beautiful, bodacious women too!

Stereotypes aside, what any woman has to offer a man is based not on what geographic region she is from. It all depends on her exposure, her upbringing, her heart, where her head is at, and her relationship with God. Her level of maturity is a determining factor also. So for the doubters out there----let’s just put it this way. The big city has much to offer in many regards, and the women are no exception!

I posed the question to people with both city ties and country roots, and here’s what they had to say on this intriguing topic:

» City Born, Southern raised says, “Southern Belles have a certain erotic repressed side that is dying or eager to be released. However, this release is sanctioned to be done within marital constraints institutionalized by God.”

» “My personal observation is that southern women are more calm, hospitable, courteous, etc. When it comes to cooking, southern gals have it hands down! One of my favorite things I am glad to have been introduced to is boiled peanuts.” ~ Tensie

» “City girls are typically more survivalists, have more savvy, and are more sophisticated”. ~ Cookie Brown

» “Country broads of my generation were more or less taught to cook at an early age (8, 9, 10). However, in this day and age, while city girls and southern girls both possess these attributes, to a certain degree, hopefully. I believe that many of the modern women of today cuisine finesse is relegated or dictated by necessity. “ ~ A.D.

What’s your take on this topic? If you have a thought you’d like to share on this issue, I’d love to hear from you! Drop me a line at


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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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