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by Jennifer Brown Banks

"Drama Queens" Get All the Action!

"The whole world is a stage" - Shakespeare

Drama queens have a starring role in too many men’s lives.

From what I’ve observed, it seems that the crazier and more demanding a female seems to be, the more men she has wrapped around her finger!

Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself. I don’t care if she’s featured on Dr. Phil Show, interviewed by Maury Povich, or booked on Jerry Springer, if she’s rude, crude, and has plenty of attitude, this chick has a slew of men vying for her attention!


Even in real life, the verdict is in. There’s something in a lot of guys’ psyche that says that the more difficult a woman is, the more desirable she becomes!

Take for example, my friend “Barry”. Barry is fine. He’s college educated, hardworking, and has the body of a Greek God. Yet, he spends his time tortured over a woman who’s sleeping with him, while bedding her ex-boyfriend! She’s making Barry crazy, and he can’t get enough of her!

Another male friend of mine is currently hooked up with a girl who, in a fit of anger, busted out his car windows, and routinely harasses him whenever he threatens to end things.

Hollywood headlines mimic the same. If a celebrity is unstable, drinks excessively, hits all the wild parties, poses nude, spreads her love around, or has a reputation for being a witch, men want to be on this sister’s list!

Go figure.

Meanwhile, females who seem to be more settled and sane spend Friday nights at home alone. Case in point. I was watching the Rachael Ray Show the other day when Gabrielle Union appeared as a guest. For those who may not know her, she’s an attractive African-American actress who is currently starring in Tyler Perry’s hit movie, Daddy’s Little Girls. From all outward appearances she’s cute, classy and soft spoken. Yet, she admitted to having difficulty in finding a good man, and confessed to watching four hours of Law and Order many nights, by courtesy of her TIVO!

Those of us who are similar in nature, and less “colorful” in character can relate. Men often complain that women aren’t into “nice guys”, but it seems to me that the same attitude sometimes prevails with “sweet girls” as well! I'm truly perplexed as to what is it that makes guys’ testosterone surge when confronted with women with loose screws, or those with the personality of “She-devils”. Are “hotties” with bodies some men’s only criteria?


This dating dynamic has become so wide spread, that it is even addressed in a book by Sherry Argov entitled “Why Men Love Bitches.”

In the book the author contends that some women are too nice, and gives strategies to add a little intensity to the mix! Most of us like a challenge. That goes without saying. But how much drama is too much? And what separates a “drama queen” from a woman who’s simply a challenge?

Here are Some Tale-Tell Signs of Drama Queens:

» Whether it’s with her baby’s daddy, a neighbor next door, or the guy she works with, there’s always some controversy brewing and she’s typically in the middle.

» Everything is always about her. She craves attention.

» She’s high maintenance emotionally.

» Girlfriend doesn’t believe in compromise. It’s her way or the highway!

» She overreacts to trivial things and has no problem “letting her hair down”, even in public.

» She thinks that being “combative” makes her strong.

» She’s usually attractive, and feels that her looks will compensate for ugly behavior.

» She’s rarely, if ever, on good terms with her ex-boyfriends.

» She swears like a sailor.

» She thinks everyone else is the problem.

If you’re a woman who found that many of the above statements “characterized “ you, do some soul searching. You may want to change your script!

If you’re a guy who found that most of the above statements described the soap opera scenario of your current relationship, it may be time for a new leading lady!

Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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