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by Jennifer Brown Banks

What's Your M.O.?
(Are You a Drain or a Faucet?)

Some folks feel that the world is divided into two types of people: the haves and the have-nots.

I‘ve come up with another category classification.

From my professional and romantic experiences, it seems that two types of people exist. Either you’re a drain or a faucet

Here’s how it works: Drains are people who suck the life out of others through their endless attempts to deplete them of their time, money, sanity and other resources.


They’ll leave you taxed, torn, and physically and emotionally exhausted from their many needs and demands. Rather than being enhanced by their existence, you feel burdened. At work, they don’t carry their weight In relationships, these parasites take much more than they give. When they don’t get their way, they’re typically pouters and shouters!

Get the picture? Perhaps it’s even the M.O. of someone you know.

Faucets, on the other hand, are free flowing individuals who are easy to get along with. They’re laid back and not easily agitated. They are generous in their words and deeds, and they replenish your “spiritual cup” when life takes its toll. Faucets are the givers of the world. They are the “go to” people in times of turmoil or trouble. You know the type. They devote their tireless efforts to worthy causes. On the job, they pull more than their weight. In relationships, they give more than they get.

Are you a drain or a faucet? Here’s an example. A guy who is an associate of mine is your classic drain. How did he qualify for this distinction?

» He treats his girlfriend like hired help.

» He lives at home with his parents at the age of thirty

» He thinks that the world evolves around him, and that his way of thinking is always right!

» He’s an emotional adolescent. When dealing with him, you don’t know whether to feel sorry for him, or to be downright angry.

Fortunately for me, however, most of my friends are faucets. One in particular comes to mind as I write this. My friend Lilly is well known for her sweet spirit and acts of selflessness.

She’s the one who will act as your chauffer, shuffling you around town to tend to your errands, but refuses to accept gas money for her efforts. Her kids can count on her to put her social life on hold while she baby sits their kids at a moment’s notice. She generously tips bartenders, waiters, and people in the service industry. She’s active in her church, and tries to be a source of strength for others. Now, if I could get her to be prompt, I’d put her in my will!

My friend Bailey is the same way! He’s always rescuing others from some time of mishap or tragedy. He’s freehearted with his time and his money. He’s helped others financially in everything from making ends meet to launching business ventures. As a friend, he can be counted on with solid advice or a firm shoulder on which to lean.

So if one of your goals in 2007 is to improve your health and well-being, consider the strain of “drains”.

» Their sense of entitlement takes a terrible toll on your sense of well being.

» They contribute to poor health conditions like stress, high blood pressure, frequent migraines, and other maladies.

» Over time they will cause you to feel resentful and cheated.

» Their cons greatly outweigh their pros.

Whenever possible, they should be avoided at all cost.

Remember, no drain no pain!

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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