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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

A Good Man is Like a Good Bra!

Have you ever noticed that a good man is like a good bra? Don’t believe me? Compare the two.

Like a good bra, a good man provides support, makes you feel feminine, gives comfort and lifts you up! Wouldn’t you agree?

After struggling many years with poor choices in both, I’ve gotten smarter. Here’s where I went wrong. It seemed that some guys who initially looked cute and fancy to the eye, later proved to be the wrong style. While others lacked proper support and (pardon the pun) left me hanging.

Through trial and error, I discovered a few things along the way. These lessons that I’ll share will take the guesswork out of dating, and guarantee the proper “fit” for romance.

Here's How to Know He's the Right Fit For You:

It Feels Right
That may sound simplistic, but it’s often overlooked. And if you’ve ever spent time with a guy who you couldn’t totally be yourself with, you know what I mean. You’ll recognize that a potential or existing partner holds real promise when you don’t have to adjust things or “pad” the situation to make it better. It is what it is----the proper foundation.

He Appreciates Your "Full" Dimensions
Guys are visual creatures; there’s no doubt about it. It’s not unusual for them to be drawn to someone with 36-24-36 dimensions. But when a man is really “into” you, he’ll value your intellect and respect your opinion. He’ll take an interest in all of the dynamics that make you uniquely you!

He Accepts You in "As Is" Condition
You may not be Beyonce’ or Halle Berry, but he thinks you’re the “stuff” just the same! He doesn’t compare you to his ex-wife, or want you to dress like the woman at work. He embraces you for faults and all.

He Compromises and Sacrifices to Make You Happy
Whether it’s tagging along with you to the mall, or making more of an effort to get along with your overbearing mom, he’ll do it to bring a smile to your face.

He Brings You Peace
Being with him is like having a refuge from life’s storms.

You Can Laugh and Cry with Him
Vulnerability is not an issue.

He Keeps His Word
He considers it his bond.

You Share Similar Goals and Interests
Though “opposites attract”, true compatibility is based upon holding some of the same things dearly, and seeing eye to eye on important issues. Let’s just say that you’re a Catholic and he’s an atheist, or he’s a loafer and you’re a Type A personality. Can it work? Anything is possible, but the odds are greatly against you!

Now that you know what to look for in finding the right fit, here’s what to avoid:

» Relationships (or bras) that bind you so tightly that they restrict your movement and circulation.

» Relationships (or bras) that do not allow a little room for growth.

» Relationships (or bras) that are flimsy or poorly constructed, (unless they are to be on your arms for a brief period of time).

» Relationships (or bras) that require constant adjusting.

» Relationships (or bras) that are still in the “training stage”.

To ensure satisfaction in both regards (relationships and bras), you should probably shop around before bringing anything home. Also recognize that with both there is an appropriate time and season. For example, youthful, carefree days would dictate styles like Halter Bras and Strapless numbers. More mature years would more than likely suggest that you opt for that 18-hour support line!



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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.


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