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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Jennifer's Gems > 07

by Jennifer Brown Banks

Random Ramblings on Real Issues

I typically write on one topic per column, and usually with the objective of improving lives, offering real info, and speaking for the “voiceless”. Today is different. Maybe because it’s Friday when I'm writing this and so much has happened in the world; in my world, and no doubt yours too.

So consider this like a station break, from my usual messages. Here’s what’s been on my mind lately---uncensored and unapologetically.

On Relationships:

» A friend of mine recently sent me an email sharing how a friend of his was elated about being reunited with a former love. My friend was saying how his friend was happy to have reestablished ties with someone whom he considers “a good woman who cares about his soul.” The incurable romantic that I am, I was really excited for this guy, and I don’t even know him!

But, it also got me to thinking… why is it that guys rarely seem to recognize a good thing when they’ve got it?! Why does it take a loss, an act of God, financial ruin, rehab or whatever, before they get a clue? If I had a dollar for every man that begged me back after we broke up, I wouldn’t have to work for awhile. Well may be not a dollar, but you get the gist.

» And while we’re on relationships…“Scientific studies” often promote the health benefits of being married. They report how married men live longer lives than their single peers. But I wonder, has anyone ever taken a poll on how many people are dying S L O W deaths as a result of staying in bad marriages? I bet you those statistics would be a Guinness world record breaker!

» Must Love Dogs? There seems to be a great population of single folks who are pet lovers. And I say more power to ‘em! In fact, I think pet lovers are typically very caring, cool, mild mannered folks. And, in fact, I admit to loving a hound or two in my days! But some individuals are truly taking the concept of dog being “man’s best friend” to the limit! I was watching Divorce Court on TV the other day, when coming before the judge was a case where a man was suing his wife for divorce because of her obsession with her five cats. And this guy was so sexy, he made me purr. If you’re one of these people that give your pet more “lap action” than your mate, I’ve got three words for you. Get a life.

On Makeovers:
Seems these days I can barely turn on the tube without being bombarded by “Makeover” shows. The Swan, Home Improvement, Oprah’s Makeovers. I say somebody ought to attempt a show on Personality Makeovers! They could start with this emerging breed of “confirmed” bachelors that hold on to their “freedom” like a nun to her virginity! The guys who want the “perks” without the work.

To my knowledge, marriage is supposed to be “bonding” not “bondage”.

I think (most) things in life deserve at least one try before writing off. Included as future make-over candidates could be women who foolishly believe that beauty is about fake nails and perfectly coiffed hair-dos, yet have ugly dispositions. A few politicians, and people who work for the post office would also be prime targets.

On Blogging:
As a writer, the concept of “communication” by any medium is usually exciting! I love the written word and its power and purpose. But somehow I don’t get this “Blogging” thing.

According to BlugPulse. (which tracks blog activity), more than 10 million blogs grace Cyberspace! I’ve been toying with the idea, so this morning I visited a few. Not convinced yet!

For the life of me, I can’t imagine anybody other than my ex-boyfriends, bill collectors, friends, or potential stalkers being interested in my daily events! That anyone other than the above would care that I spend most days bra less and barefoot before my computer trying to make a living as a writer. That I have a crush on Keanu Reeves and Michael Ealy, make a mean loaf, am afraid of flying, am turned on by “nice guys” and once was chosen to audition for a professional cheerleading team.

If you’re reading this column and beg to differ, and would like to hear about my days via blog, E-mail me at

Here's hoping your days are "noteworthy"!

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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