| Online
Dating Magazine > Columns > Office
Hours with Dr. Jim > 29
 Office Hours With Dr. Jim
by James
Houran, Ph.D
In
this column, "Dr.
Jim"
honestly and candidly answers your questions about
dating, love and sexuality. He doesn’t tell
you what you want to hear – he tells you what
you need to hear. Dr. Jim is committed to offering
you guidance based on responsible clinical practice
and hard data from the latest scientific studies. Send
Dr. Jim your questions today for consideration
in an upcoming issue.
Overseas
Online Dating Services
Quick
Access:
Non-US Online Dating Sites
What are some of the best
online dating sites outside the US and are they worth
trying?
Actually,
many of the online dating services already familiar
to you have large bases of members from around the
world. But, if you’re really up for trying
to find romance “across the pond” and beyond
via services based outside the USA, then all I can
say is “go for it” with gusto in your heart
but navigating those waters with a level head. Some
of the largest players overseas are Meetic.com in the
European Union, eFriendsnet.com in China, Match.com
in the UK, and Netclub.com for the French community
(though they cater to other nationalities as well).
For those interested more seriously minded folks who
are into compatibility testing, I recommend that you
look up Cybersuitors.com.
My friend and colleague Dr. Glenn Wilson – the father of modern compatibility
testing – developed the matching test for the
site. A notable feature of Wilson’s test on Cybersuitors
is the fact that it’s been published in a peer-reviewed
academic journal (1) -- this excellent sign of quality
is a tremendous rarity in the online dating industry.
Some closing tips on pursuing love outside the USA:
» Lost
in translation -- Remember that language and euphemisms,
as well as courting and dating customs
can greatly vary across cultures. Therefore, realize
there’s likely to be a learning curve for both
of you.
» Fantasy or reality -- Simply put, be on the
same page and keep it realistic. Just like dating at
home, connecting
with someone across the globe can be exciting and fulfilling
if you two have realistic expectations as to what that
online connection can and can’t lead to given
your unique set of circumstances.
» Slow down over high
speed Internet connection -- Take it slow and don’t
make impulsive moves like jumping on the next flight
across a large body of
water or
offering to pay for someone to come here. Sure love
can happen or just meeting a great friend in another
land, but there are also International scams occurring
on the web. These scams are pervasive and problematic,
including Nigerian money laundering schemes or Russian
mail order brides. Not all sites protect or filter
such scams equally well, so be cautious.
» “You’ve got mail” – If
things seem to be going really well and there’s
considerable trust between you two, a great way to
feed the relationship
is not supplement emails and IMs with real snail mail.
Send personalized cards, letters or little gifts to
each other through regular mail. It’s more
personal than mere e-communications and it leads
to great feelings
of anticipation.
If
you’re in a successful international romance,
or have been in one before, I want to hear from you. Send
me your stories now. I’ll
share the best in an upcoming issue.
Reference
1 Wilson, G. D., & Cousins, J.
M. (2003). Partner similarity and relationship satisfaction:
development of a compatibility quotient. Sexual and
Relationship Therapy, 18, 161-170.
> Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one.
<
All
Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is ©
copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may
not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.
Do you agree or disagree with this
article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter
to the Editor today or post a comment below.
|
