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Office Hours With Dr. Jim
by James Houran, Ph.D

In this column, "Dr. Jim" honestly and candidly answers your questions about dating, love and sexuality. He doesn’t tell you what you want to hear – he tells you what you need to hear. Dr. Jim is committed to offering you guidance based on responsible clinical practice and hard data from the latest scientific studies. Send Dr. Jim your questions today for consideration in an upcoming issue.


Trusting Someone Online | Best Digital Camera for Profile Photos

Quick Access:
Online Relationship Trust
Cameras for Online Profile Photos



When should you begin to trust someone in an online relationship?

 

 I really like this question, because it contrasts nicely to a piece I recently wrote about identifying “liars” online. My suggestions are not set in stone, but here are some signals that trust is developing in your online relationship:

» The person keeps his/her word. When they say they’ll meet you online at a certain time and day, they’ll there. When they say they’ll share a photo or file with you, they do.

» You’ve shared multiple photos taken at different times and events. This gives one another a more complete and accurate view of the person and helps ensure that the person is really the person seen in the photo.

» You know the person by their first name – rather than their screen name. A first and last name is event better.

» You feel good about the level and exchange of self-disclosure. For example, you’ve talked at length about your motivations for using online dating, have disclosed things like shared interests and childhood memories, or have shared past relationship horror stories.

» You laugh and feel at ease with the person.

» You begin to know how the other person thinks and feels. For example, you can start to complete his or her sentences or you know exactly how he or she will react to something you’re going to say. In other words, the person feels familiar and is predictable to you.

» The person doesn’t need or demand explanations for everything you do or don’t do – such as “why are you signing offline so early?” or “who else are you talking to?”

» You don’t feel the need to tell “little white lies” to continue to make a good impression or feel attractive – you can truly be yourself.

Finally, let me say that it still takes offline meetings to fully get to know someone. This means that even if you feel a strong sense of trust or bonding with another person, don’t neglect the basic rules of safety and security when meeting that person for the first time offline. Always use your head in matters of the heart!


What kind of digital camera is best to use for personal profile photos?

Because photos for your online dating profile should mostly be close-ups of you, it’s best to use a digital camera with excellent resolution (sharpness and detail of the image) and color quality. Unfortunately, I’m no photographer or specialist in digital cameras. However, Alan Stafford of PC World recently outlined some of the best choices available today in a helpful article titled, “Digital Cameras: Impress with Pixels.” He broke down the options into three categories, depending on your budget and needs:

Advanced Models
Alan recommended the Canon PowerShot G5, the Nikon Coolpix 5700, and the Olympus C-750 Ultra Zoom.

Point-and-Shoot Models
Alan recommended Canon’s PowerShot A7, Nikon’s Coolpix 3100, and Sony’s Cyber-shot DSC-P10

Budget Models
Alan recommended HP’s Photosmart 435, the Fujifilm FinePix A310, and the Sony Cyber-shot DSC-U50.

You may want to see what other knowledgeable reviewers think of today’s cameras as well. Just Google “digital camera reviews” and you’ll get roughly a whopping 39,900,000 hits for further reading.




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