Bookmark and Share

Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Office Hours with Dr. Jim > 80

Office Hours With Dr. Jim
by James Houran, Ph.D

In this column, "Dr. Jim" honestly and candidly answers your questions about dating, love and sexuality. He doesn’t tell you what you want to hear – he tells you what you need to hear. Dr. Jim is committed to offering you guidance based on responsible clinical practice and hard data from the latest scientific studies. Send Dr. Jim your questions today for consideration in an upcoming issue.

New Relationships Advice | More Flirting Tips

Quick Access:
Advice for People in a New Relationship
Few More Flirting Tips

What advice do you have for people in new relationships?


There are eight “take home points” that I feel are crucial for all new couples to know:

Take home point #1: Understand that passion in a relationship ebbs and flows. In fact, it generally decreases over time – no matter what some online dating sites might say about “chemistry.” Keep this in mind or you’ll have incredibly unrealistic expectations and hence disappointments ahead.

Take home point #2: Strive everyday to remain positive and optimistic in the relationship. Focus on the good things about the relationship and pay less attention to the small, negative things.

Take home point #3: Make decisions for the good of the relationship, as opposed to doing just what’s good for you. In other words, put your partner’s needs first.

Take home point #4: Take care of your health and your self-esteem, so that you are not depending on your partner to give you confidence or a rigid sense of identity and purpose.

Take home point #5: If the relationship is valuable, then act like it. Invest your time and energy into the relationship, make an effort to get to know your partner, listen to your partner and always be open about your thoughts and feelings.

Take home point #6: Be open and genuine in your intentions and actions, especially in the early stages of the relationship when trust is being established.

Take home point #7: Learn to use constructive communication styles during times of conflict. Avoid criticism, contempt and insults when having an argument. Try to keep the positive comments, gestures and actions well above the negative ones.

Take home point #8: Don’t shut out family and friends so you can spend all your time in your own love-inspired world with your partner. Family and friends can be excellent sources of guidance and advice. And they are a thermometer for your relationship – they can see troubling or unhealthy patterns in your relationship and your own behavior that are easy to miss when you are in love and have rose-colored glasses on.

Thanks for your column on the secrets of flirting. Anymore flirting tips?

Good flirts do share some common techniques it seems. In addition to those I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, here are a few more things to keep in mind:

1) Be confident. At least 60% of communication is non-verbal. This means that people form opinions about others based on what they see and feel and how a person comes across in dress and uses facial expressions.

2) Like and respect people. Good flirts know the importance of liking and respecting people of all types of backgrounds. People who are judgmental of others tend to be ineffective flirts. The more people with whom you meet and learn to interact, the more you increase your people skills and emotional intelligence.

3) Be an attractive person. Being “attractive” is whatever that means to you. The point is when you feel good it comes across to others and is ultra sexy. Dress in ways that make you feel good and be sure to maintain exceptional levels of hygiene.

Related Links:
» Secrets to Flirting

> - The best approach to find the one. <

All Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is © copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter to the Editor today or post a comment below.


blog comments powered by Disqus

Privacy Statement | Code of Ethics Statement
Bookmark Online Dating Magazine at

>View Online Dating Magazine Singles Travel Adventures<

Online Dating | News | Columns | Features | Dating Services | Niche Dating
Online Dating Directory | Dating Humor | Quick Tip Articles | Online Dating Industry
Industry History
| Online Dating Reviews | Reader Reviews | Dating Videos | Book / DVD Reviews
Reader Letters | Self Improvement | Experiences | Newsletter | Interviews
Top 10 Lists | STD Info Center | About Us | Advertise
Media Center
| FAQ | Search | Contact | Dating Promotions

Dating Cartoons | Dating Jokes | Funny Dating Videos | Dating Games

Online Dating Magazine Needs Your Help!

All content on this Website is ©copyright by Online
Dating Magazine. All Rights Reserved. The content
on this site may not be reused or republished.

Are you an online dating site Webmaster? If so...
If you are looking for free dating content you can republish, click here



Advertise on
Online Dating Magazine



Stay Up to Date:

Follow Us on Twitter

Follow Us on YouTube

Follow Us on Facebook


10 Most Viewed Articles:

Online Dating Tips
Opposites Attract
Online Dating Safety Tips
Rose Colors
Guys are Weird
Dating Games
Online Dating Reviews
Creative Date Ideas
Long Distance Relationships
Dealing with a Breakup

Other Resources:

These links will take you away from Online Dating Magazine.

Google (Google Your Date)
Research Dating Service)

MailOrderBride Guide

Note: Online Dating Magazine does not sell text links anywhere on the site, so please don't email asking about text links. Any links we have are affiliate links, resources we find useful, links to other sites we run or long-time magazine sponsors. We do have graphic ad options in our Advertising section.