Bookmark and Share

Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Office Hours with Dr. Jim > 76

Office Hours With Dr. Jim
by James Houran, Ph.D

In this column, "Dr. Jim" honestly and candidly answers your questions about dating, love and sexuality. He doesn’t tell you what you want to hear – he tells you what you need to hear. Dr. Jim is committed to offering you guidance based on responsible clinical practice and hard data from the latest scientific studies. Send Dr. Jim your questions today for consideration in an upcoming issue.

The Dating Habits of Men

Quick Access:
Male Dating Habits

This is part 2 of the three part series, "Dating Habits of Men". To read part 1, click here.

Men, you’re free to email me if you disagree with anything I say, or if you want to elaborate or clarify something. Women, you’re free to send your comments and experiences as well. We’ll explore your responses in later installments.

Dating Habits of Men – Part 2

What if he introduces you to his friends—a test or just being polite?

Could be either; it depends on the circumstances. Mostly this is a good sign if he touches you (holds your hand or puts his arm around you) while he makes the introduction. You can usually tell in his voice and mannerisms whether he positions you and him as a “couple” when he makes the introduction or if he portrays you more as a friend.

What if he says he’s mentioned you to his family members—idle conversation or is he trying to tell you he likes you?

He could be lying about this just to gauge your reaction and see if you have told your family about him. Remember, guys fish for compliments all the time (probably more than women) as well as fish for information on where they stand with you. But if he sincerely did mention you to his family, that is typically a sign that he thinking of you as long-term relationship material.

What’s with making off-handed remarks about doing things together—like “Oh, we’ll have to see that movie sometime!”--and then not following up?

More ambivalence! But, from my experience working with men I find this usually reflects the fact that the man is fishing for feedback from the woman. It’s wrongly assumed in our society that men take the lead and pace a relationship. Research reveals that women actually set the pace by giving “stop and go” signals. These signals are so powerful that men will approach a less physically attractive woman over a more physically attractive if the less attractive woman gives “go” signals” and the attractive woman does not. So, women should always give immediate feedback to men when they make offhanded comments or vague plans – it might well be the case that the man is trying to come across as casual as a defense mechanism against rejection from you. Therefore, women should take the lead and follow up with such as:

Man: “Oh, we’ll have to see that movie sometime!”

Woman: “What a great idea for this weekend, if you’re free to take me”

Here, the woman plays to the man’s ago (“great idea’) and then she takes the lead by signaling interest and offering a specific time for a date (“this weekend if you’re free to take me”). If the man is truly interested, he’ll jump on the opportunity and make the date. If he’s being coy or gamey, then he’ll still show ambivalence. In this case, it’s best the woman not hold her breath to see that movie with him!

What about the habit of talking about the dating life in general—things like “Geez, sometimes it seems like there’s no one normal out there, huh?”

This is a lot like the above. Most of the time in these situations the guy is feeling out the woman for a compliment or he is trying to create an opportunity with her. He’s looking for her to say something back that gives him a proverbial foot in the door. Other times, but more rarely in my experience, the guy is trying to tell the woman that he’s not interested by making an impersonal remark that he hopes she will read between the lines.

Related Links
Dating Habits of Men (Part 1)
Dating Habits of Men (Part 3)

> - The best approach to find the one. <

All Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is © copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter to the Editor today or post a comment below.


blog comments powered by Disqus

Privacy Statement | Code of Ethics Statement
Bookmark Online Dating Magazine at

>View Online Dating Magazine Singles Travel Adventures<

Online Dating | News | Columns | Features | Dating Services | Niche Dating
Online Dating Directory | Dating Humor | Quick Tip Articles | Online Dating Industry
Industry History
| Online Dating Reviews | Reader Reviews | Dating Videos | Book / DVD Reviews
Reader Letters | Self Improvement | Experiences | Newsletter | Interviews
Top 10 Lists | STD Info Center | About Us | Advertise
Media Center
| FAQ | Search | Contact | Dating Promotions

Dating Cartoons | Dating Jokes | Funny Dating Videos | Dating Games

Online Dating Magazine Needs Your Help!

All content on this Website is ©copyright by Online
Dating Magazine. All Rights Reserved. The content
on this site may not be reused or republished.

Are you an online dating site Webmaster? If so...
If you are looking for free dating content you can republish, click here



Advertise on
Online Dating Magazine



Stay Up to Date:

Follow Us on Twitter

Follow Us on YouTube

Follow Us on Facebook


10 Most Viewed Articles:

Online Dating Tips
Opposites Attract
Online Dating Safety Tips
Rose Colors
Guys are Weird
Dating Games
Online Dating Reviews
Creative Date Ideas
Long Distance Relationships
Dealing with a Breakup

Other Resources:

These links will take you away from Online Dating Magazine.

Google (Google Your Date)
Research Dating Service)

MailOrderBride Guide

Note: Online Dating Magazine does not sell text links anywhere on the site, so please don't email asking about text links. Any links we have are affiliate links, resources we find useful, links to other sites we run or long-time magazine sponsors. We do have graphic ad options in our Advertising section.