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Office Hours With Dr. Jim
by James
Houran, Ph.D
In
this column, "Dr.
Jim"
honestly and candidly answers your questions about
dating, love and sexuality. He doesn’t tell
you what you want to hear – he tells you what
you need to hear. Dr. Jim is committed to offering
you guidance based on responsible clinical practice
and hard data from the latest scientific studies. Send
Dr. Jim your questions today for consideration
in an upcoming issue.
Online
Niche Dating Sites
Quick
Access:
Niche Dating Services
Conversation
Recently
I was privileged to do an interview with Canada’s
national newspaper, The Globe and Mail about niche
dating sites – particularly
ones that cater to environmentally-conscious individuals
such as Green
Friendsand Green
Singles. These are very timely
niche dating sites considering all the media attention
around global warming, energy crises and the search for
alternative fuels. However, the reporter’s
questions are relevant to any niche site. Below is the
conversation we had. I’d love to hear from online
daters who’ve tried both large online dating sites
and niche dating sites. I’m eager to hear if your
success differed between the two types of sites and in
what way – please
email me your story today!
Do
you see niche online dating (such as green sites)
a growing trend?
Yes,
niche dating sites are a huge trend now because many
online daters are tired of being “lost in
the crowd” of large mega sites like Match.com and Yahoo
Personals. Also, users are smart in that
they’re
becoming better at knowing what they want and need
in a partner, and they’re turning to sites that
cater to their “must haves.”
One
of the problems that comes up with online dating
is that people often turn out to be not quite as
advertised. Do you feel this would be even more true
of online dating where the participants are narrowing
their search to those who (supposedly) live as ethically
as they do? (i.e., someone deeply committed to the
environment versus someone who simply likes the outdoors,
etc)
“Little
white lies” and distortions
in personal profiles is a problem – just like
these behaviors are a problem in traditional dating
as well. But, social science has revealed that most
of the time people are very honest online with others
due to the natural anonymity it offers. In fact, people
can disclose too much too quickly, and subsequently
develop attachments too fast (and perhaps rush into
relationships). You can read more about the potential
and the pitfalls of online
attachments here.
There’s
no reliable data on the rates of “dater exaggeration” for
niche dating sites versus non-niche sites, but my own
research suggests it is likely lower for niche sites.
Niche sites are relatively more difficult to find than
the general, well-advertised mega sites. Therefore,
membership on niche sites typically grows virally (i.e.,
word-of-mouth) and usually yields high quality leads.
Membership on major sites usually grows via ad campaigns
(online and offline), so it’s more like people
bowing to social pressures or simply following the
crowd. People on niche sites usually have a strong
understanding of what they want in a relationship.
Therefore, these people tend to be contientious individuals
who are often what how they represent themselves to
be. Everyone should always be cautious of others online
(and at any online dating sites), but people have told
me that there seems to be less exaggeration on sites
that cater to special interests. If you have a similar
view or a completely different one, please email me
your story.
Online
dating has a fairly high success rate. Is this also
true for more specialized online dating scenarios?
There’s
actually no good data on the true success rates on
online dating sites; please see my new editorial
on this issue by clicking
here. However, social scientists have long known
that it takes both similarities and complementarities
(differences that add balance) between two people
to sustain a satisfying and stable relationship.
The factors couples on which tend to be similar include
general values, education level, intellectual ability
and energy levels. Niche dating sites are usually
very effective at catering to these areas of similarity – thereby
giving members a built-in, common foundation that helps
builds healthy and lively connections between people
(much more so than the mega sites). Thus, it is more
likely that people with strong “must haves” related
to the theme of the niche site (e.g., “I must
find a partner who respects the environment as much
as I do…”)
will find someone that fits that ideal than the person
would have found at mega sites. So in that sense, yes,
niche dating sites load the dice a bit more for some
people. They already offer success in the sense that
they provide a community of like-minded individuals – and
finding a pool of suitable dating partners is half
of the success equation at any site.
Related Links:
Niche Online Dating Services
> Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one.
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