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Office Hours With Dr. Jim
by James
Houran, Ph.D
In
this column, "Dr.
Jim"
honestly and candidly answers your questions about
dating, love and sexuality. He doesn’t tell
you what you want to hear – he tells you what
you need to hear. Dr. Jim is committed to offering
you guidance based on responsible clinical practice
and hard data from the latest scientific studies. Send
Dr. Jim your questions today for consideration
in an upcoming issue.
Online
Dating Profile Photo Tips | Emails Not Being Returned
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Online Dating
Profile Photo Tips
Meaning of Not Receiving an Email Response?
What should I emphasize in
my online profile photos?
I
find it hilarious – albeit also tremendously sad
and borderline pathetic – that some self-proclaimed
online dating profile “specialists” have
totally hideous profile photos. And I don’t mean
that said gurus have these photos buried in their closets;
I mean they have them posted them on their websites and
blogs. What makes these photos so hideous? Well, all
too often they’re of poor quality, they try too
hard to be artsy and cool and they frequently incorporate
silly props that are inconsistent with the context (I’m
not kidding here – some of these props include
small wilderness animals). Indeed a lesson in here is
to be wary and critical when considering your money or
time consulting the services of a profile enhancement
service! There’s another lesson that seems also
to escape the attention of even profile gurus – online
profiles exist to emphasize you and you alone.
That
sounds so obvious, yet take time to browse a large
selection of profile photos and you’ll
see that it’s not so obvious after all. You will
often see everything except a good shot of the person’s
face! Profile photos are meant to give others a sense
of the physical chemistry that others might have with
you. Oh, photos can also convey aspects of your personality – and
that is extremely important – but there are many
other tools and resources that are used to demonstrate
your inner beauty like online profiles or other writing
samples, personality tests and, of course, your screen
name and headline.
With
this in mind, it’s best
not to distract others from the “star of the
show” (i.e., you) with overly creative lighting
and intrusive props. Instead, show your face (and perhaps
shoulders) in close up and in good lighting for your
primary photo. That’s the one picture everyone
wants to see. For your supplemental photos you can
be more creative and exhibit different poses, props
that show off your interests and energy level as well
as photos that showcase seductive lighting and colors
to hint at the different moods that define your personality.
What
does it mean when someone doesn’t email back?
I
don’t know exactly, because there are many
possible explanations. It could be that the person
is ignoring you and wants you to go away. Of course,
there are other equally plausible scenarios such as
the person is preoccupied with work or home life and
has not seen the message, the person has seen the message
but has not had the chance to respond or the email
was bounced for some technical reason.
The
point is to never just jump to conclusions. Rather,
it’s
best to send another message expressing anticipation
over hearing from the prospect. If a reply is still
not received within a week or two, then perhaps follow-up
that message with another email that is short, polite
and expresses concern about the person. You might even
offer to help in any way possible, if that’s
needed. If there’s still no reply, then try your
best to let it go, not write any nasty or vindictive
emails and give the person the benefit of the doubt.
Yes, people can be rude, but it might be something
that’s well out of the prospect’s control.
Leave the door open, and you might find a “familiar
face” in your inbox in due course.
Related Links:
» Dr. Jim: Online Dating Profile Photo Tips
» Dr. Jim: What Colors Should I Wear for my Online Dating Photo?
» Creating a Better Online Dating Photo
» News:
Profiles in Photos Most Important to Online Daters
> Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one.
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