Unrequited Love

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love." – Charlie Brown

Say it again, Charlie. So true, isn’t it?

Are you with me Linus? Lucy? Dirty Kid? (That’s Pig Pen for all of you who aren’t in the know). Because after all, the next best thing to being in love is a nice spoonful of peanut butter. And when you’re not in love…it’s a jar of peanut butter. So Charlie Brown had it right that when it comes to unrequited love, well, not even peanut butter can cure that. It just…takes the taste right out of it.

I think we’ve all been there. Whether it was your first crush — that boy on the playground who was so sweet to you when you did your homework together, but then made fun of you on the playground. You didn’t get it then, but you do now. Or maybe it was the guy in high school — you were a freshman and he was a senior. For some flakey reason, you thought you had a chance. He was really sweet to you, but turns out, he was just a nice guy. His girlfriend thought he was sweet too.

Then there was that college professor you had a crush on. Remember when you took that Anatomy course with all the Med Students just to stare at him for an hour…even though you were an English major? Ah yes…sweet, sweet crushes. And that’s what they were then, even though you joked about unrequited love.

But what happens when you are seriously hit with unrequited love? Maybe you’re a little older. Maybe it’s a good friend, a best friend, and you’re in too deep, and he’s just…not. And it’s torture, agony, because yes, you would like to bring it up a level from friends, but he just sees you as his buddy. Bummer. It’s disappointing, you say. But your friends tell you, isn’t it better to be friends than to not have him in your life at all?

Umm….sure…you say. And it’s true, because he is your friend and you do care about him, but the fact is that seeing him all the time reminds you that he isn’t “yours.” You want him to be your peanut butter, the thing you turn to when you’re happy, you’re sad, you’re lonely, or you’re just bored. And you can be his jelly…the sweetest thing in his life. It’s a perfect combination. But instead, you’re tasteless bread. Boring.

Some people worry about unrequited love before it’s even…unrequited. They sit their plucking petals off their flower one at a time…he loves me, he loves me not. Especially when it’s a buddy, they have to wonder, is it worth confessing this love, for fear of ruining the relationship? Or, what if he does feel the same way, but is thinking the same thing? If he’s too scared to say something, and I do, maybe that would be a relief to him and he’d jump at the chance to start something. Then, it could be a great thing for both of you. However, there is the risk that you could try the relationship, and find out it’s too “weird” and just maybe you are better off as friends. But can you go back to being friends? Oh boy…where is that peanut butter?

Unrequited love is the hardest. I honestly do believe that we have all been there. I know I have, and I think that all of my friends have, and even so…I don’t know if I have a ton of advice for you. Except maybe it’s just some awful experience that we all have to go through so that when we find the real thing, we’ll know it. Because after all, unrequited love is not real. If it were, it wouldn’t be unrequited. We think it’s real, but it’s only on our end. It’s not “true” love. It makes us miserable. When the time comes where we can cross out the “unrequited” part and just call it “love,” it will make us happy. It will put the taste back in our peanut butter.

So for now, if you are in this situation, have been, or will go through it, I wish you luck. Whether you like creamy or crunchy, go for the sale brand…you’ll be eating a lot of it.

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.

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