Looking for Love in All MySpaces

I recently saw the film “The Holiday,” and as Ms. Winslet and Ms. Diaz logged online to swap houses for the holidays, after being plagued by romance woes, it got me thinking about how the Internet, not just by means of “online dating,” can spark romance.

The connection these women made over the Internet caused them to swap houses and eventually they met men via their change of location, but there are many different avenues out there to meet people online that could bring about friendship, dating, and possibly love, that we might not even think about.

Okay, so yes, I do own both the video and DVD of “You’ve Got Mail,” but I am serious.

Let’s talk about the surge of something like MySpace, for example. A place where everybody knows your name…or at least whether you’re there for networking, dating, serious relationships or friends. And speaking of friends, they can also find how many “friends” you have, and then find out about your friends and what “comments” they have to say about you. Your body type, zodiac sign, whether or not you want children, even your song of choice can be playing, all with the click of a button. It’s like you, only if the viewer decides he or she isn’t interested, he can just click the little X box. Much easier than coming up with some excuse as to why he is no longer interested. If only it were that simple in real life.

MySpace is generally a new way to meet someone. You can search for them in your own way, or keep finding them via other friends, friends of friends, interests, bands, location, search term, etc. Or if you’re bored and just hanging around MySpace (yes, I know the type), you may just stumble upon someone who peaks your interest, and once you click to add them as a friend, you never know what could happen from there.

In a way, places like MySpace give you much more insight into a potential partner, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. The “Friends” portion for example. When you find that someone who you may want to become more acquainted with, or someone you have already started dating, you may want to know a little more about them. And who knows them better than their friends?

But of course in “real life,” when you meet their friends, they will play them up as the best friend ever, because that’s what they are, and they want their buddy to look good for their new girl. Then, later on, once the relationship is established, they can joke around about what a loser they are. But suppose you want to cut to the chase. You want to know the “real him” a little bit earlier on…

You can get the real deal on his MySpace. It’s his real life in an odd sort of way, in the form of his comments section. That thin row of boxes where his friends leave little notes for him. Maybe one says, “Dude, you were so loaded last night. Remember when you puked in your purse?”

Then you can step back from the computer and say a) maybe he drinks too much for me, b) his friends act like frat boys, c) why does he carry a purse or d) my kind of guy! Then message him to hit the bar.

Or maybe you’re a pro at MySpace stalking. You can reverse stalk him by seeing what he says to his friends. Like he tells them, after his friend invites him to a party this weekend, “Thanks for the invite, but I’m taking my nephew to a baseball game.” Then you’re so busy swooning you forget to sign out and it looks like you’ve been “Online Now!” on MySpace for 36 hours. Loser. Just kidding.

But the Internet is in fact a great resource to utilize for meeting people. By now, you’ve already Googled him, so let’s kick it up a notch. People wouldn’t put themselves out there if they didn’t want to be found, right? So what are you waiting for? There are many spaces to be searched. And while you’re at it, put a little page together for yourself. You never know who is looking for you while you’re looking for someone else.

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.

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