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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > 68

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Getting to Really Know Your Date

I was speaking with my married friend, “Georgia,” again, and she was talking about when she was dating her husband and all of the crazy things she wanted to do that he accompanied her on. Things that she probably couldn’t have gotten friends or family to go with her to see—like a certain Royal she had a bit of an obsession with. He was by her side and she was happy to have him there. He didn’t think it was crazy, he was happy to see her happy, and his company was of course nice. She joked that, of course, once your married, men don’t need to do those things. Apparently, that is part of the wooing process.

When dating, you can get men to do anything with you, because they want to impress you, be there for you and make you think that they will go on those crazy excursions you go on, but once you’re married, you’re on your own, baby. He’s got you, he doesn’t need to go with you to the Bubblegum Factory to taste-test 50 flavors of bubblegum just to show you he’ll be there. He’s already there. “Have fun, honey! Tell me how the Corned Beef Gum tastes!” Eww.

 

We were just joking around, and her husband is of course by her side for everything, but her comment about her dragging her then-boyfriend to see a Royal in another state was interesting, and got me curious. She claimed that those are the type of things guys are willing to do with you when you’re dating, and joked that is the time to get them to do all those things that you really want them to do with you. But is it true? Will guys really do anything for the girl they are dating? And come on, aren’t women kind of the same?

Before I examined my own life, I thought of others around me. My sister’s fiancé lives in another state, and comes up every other weekend. I get a kick out of how they just seem to run errands and such when he comes over, and especially love it when he goes with her to get her nails done. He’s a trooper, he goes willingly, and he even took our family’s two bulldogs to get groomed once. Love? Dedication? We’ll see if anything changes once they are married in a month. The big sis might be going for the mani/pedi routine solo. But as I laughed at their errands goodheartedly, I told him to make sure he drags her around town running errands when she stays with him for the weekend. It’s only fair. Me—I’m an equal opportunity believer.

So maybe guys just suck it up and know that “girls will be girls” and have certain things that they like to do, though guys will never be able to understand it. Just like guys have their things that girls don’t get. They might complain about it, but eventually, if they like the guy, they give in. Now I’m a big Yankees fan, but one of the bonuses of watching the games is when they put the camera on the grumpy woman in the stands who you know just does not want to be there, but is with her significant other. She is by his side, even though she’s miserable.

So is it a matter of getting the one we’re with to learn about our interests, or just having someone to share them with, so we don’t have to go it alone? I have hung out with guys while they do work around the house, and wonder if I’m in the way or not—but they invited me over…for company. I kind of feel useless and awkward and, well, bored, but I’ve stayed because I’m interested in the person and when you want to be involved with someone’s life, then you have to really involve yourself. Dating someone and forming a relationship means really getting to know someone—their likes, dislikes and all the quirky things they might want to do. Whether it is polishing up their pedi, flying to London for the day or camping outside the movie theatre to buy tickets for the latest Disney flick. They are things you’ll probably laugh at afterwards, once you’re settled in a cozy relationship, but when in the moment, when your desire to do these things hits, you go for it. They don’t seem silly, and it probably doesn’t seem like you’re dragging him around. You really want him to share in the experience. And if he is willing to go, then that is certainly saying something.

So that said, we probably all have some crazy thing we’d like to do, that none of our friends would do with us, but maybe a future boyfriend or girlfriend might. Me? Well, since The Wizard of Oz has always been my favorite movie, and I thought I could be Judy Garland when I grew up, I think it would be to visit the Judy Garland Museum at her birthplace in Grand Rapids, Minnesota. Yep, Minnesota, here I come. Any takers?



Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.


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