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Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Boys and Their Toys

There’s something about guys and their electronics. They’re always checking them out. What’s the new feature on their Blackberry, how flat and high-def is their TV, and what is the latest plug in for their gelectopod…or whatever. Us gals, we like the simple things…or at least things we can enjoy without having to focus on constantly. We treat ourselves to something, and we’re happy, but we can do other things without reverting back to our new treat. But guys, they become attached, and that, my friends, can get in the way of not only a relationship, but also dating.

In a relationship, you might be able to get over the fact that when he’s watching football on his hi-def TV, he has to yell out after every play, “Man, that looks so awesome on high-def! I wouldn’t watch this any other way!” Yes, yes, you know hi-def is awesome. He loves his hi-def sports, and you know you have your things, but it is something that you have come to terms with and have accepted.

 

But what about the darn cell phone? I was recently on a date with a guy who told me ahead of time that he was a bit attached to his phone. I told him I was more of an email girl. So when we first went out, as I always do with others, I put my phone on silent. We ended up hanging out for a bit and eventually that phone rang, so I said, “do you want to get it?” He hesitated and then said “no,” which I was a little surprised at. But of course, when you’re attached to your phone, it means that people call a lot…and ring it did. Eventually he thought it was someone about work, so he did get up to get it. Which was fine, I didn’t really care. At this point we were just hanging out watching TV and I understand people have lives. My phone was still on silent.

Anyway, let’s jump ahead a little. Movie time, same guy. One arm around me, the other arm on his phone. It rang a few times, and he ignored the call. But no, he couldn’t resist the text messages. So there we are, me, watching the movie, and him, texting people. I asked him if he wanted his other arm back so he could type, and he said no, he only needs the one hand for it. Phew, what a relief. Meanwhile, I feel like a bump on a log sitting there watching a movie I didn’t even want to see—like I’m just his arm rest, saving up his hand so that can type when the other is tired.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good guy. It’s just a prime example of how guys think they’re paying attention to you just by a gesture, and can be completely not there. His focus was on his electronic communicator, not the real live one he had next to him. My phone, by the way, was in my purse…on silent. I just thought it was a respect thing. If you have to make a call or get in touch with someone, fine. But when you’re getting to know someone, to sit there with them and text message people, it just seems a little impolite. Especially when he’s the one who invited me and wanted to see that movie, even though he had already seen it. It was just distracting. I could have watched a movie I liked on my own, at home, alone, and been quite happy with that.

But boys like their toys. They become attached to them. Girls get a bad wrap for always being on their phones, but I see more guys always on their phones or text messaging away, and I don’t know who they’re talking to but they should just admit they have a problem and get on with it. The thing is, try not to let it get in the middle of dating, especially when you’re just getting to know someone. First of all, if you are just meeting someone for the first time, phones should be off so you can focus on the person. But after a while, just be respectful. If you go out with someone, don’t talk on the phone the whole time while you’re supposed to be spending time with them. You did ask them out, right? Not your cell phone. If you do find yourself in a situation where they guy can’t break free of his phone when you’re with him, then try getting in touch with him the only way that seems to work best—give him a call right there, and ask if he really wants to spend time with you, or the phone. That should snap him out of it and hopefully he realizes the mistake he’s been making and what a wonderful date he has right in front of him. Then turn that phone off...



Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.


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