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Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

"I'm Normal, Please Date Me"

A good friend of mine, and singer-songwriter extraordinaire, Charlotte Martin ( has a fun little song she wrote, poking fun at the things girls do when a guy just doesn’t return his affection anymore. She wrote it after an amazing, 8-hour long date, but then never heard from the guy again. But, as most women are, she was determined to… “find” him.

She calls it her “stalker song,” and it is a cute little ode to the things women do, and aren’t embarrassed about at the time, because they are so unwavering in their quest for this man, but later might look back and say, “What was I thinking?”

In it, she charmingly sings:

I don't think I like rejection of my little girl affections, it's not dope.
I've been crawling on the walls just hoping you will call while I've got hair and teeth.
It's not that I don't have a life
Maybe it's sad, I'm sort of glad that
I'm normal, please date me.
I won't call you half as much as you call me.
I'm normal, please date me.
I have only stalked a couple guys, but they were not about surprises
Don't run away cause baby I'm your dream.

Comical, yes. Exaggerating, slightly. True…yes…somewhat?

We don’t like rejection, yet then we sit around and wait for him to call. She just makes it sound funnier…while we cringe and think, “Oh my gosh, but I really do that.” We try to act cool, saying we won’t call that much, but it’s usually an act. We want to call, but we hold back, knowing that if we go to any extremes, it might scare him off. But stalking aside, in the end, he likes it, and he won’t run away… because, let’s face it ladies, we are that great — we are his dream. :-)

At least we hope so.


But back to the chorus, the name of the song, the theme here: “I’m normal, please date me.” Who is normal? Anyone? No? Yeah, me neither. We like to think so, and project that idea, especially when first meeting a guy, but no one is totally normal. Yet we pretend to be so, as we’re secretly screaming, “Please Date Me!” It’s only later that he finds out all of our quirks, but by that point, they’re cute, and he knows us well even to deal with them, and if we’re lucky, even love them.


Then there are the times when a guy catches us doing something not so normal. I still think back to that time I slipped on a piece of lettuce in the grocery store and fell, then got run over by a grocery cart. Not normal. Okay, that was fifth grade. More recently…okay, even telling a guy that I’m afraid of lobsters and my Mom used to taunt me with them and chase me with them before she cooked them. Yikes, blank stare back from guy. Can I redeem myself? Should I just blurt out the line, “I’m normal, please date me!” Or are there other ways to prove your normal-dom?

To recover from your craziness on a date, when it’s with someone you really like and you don’t want it to result in a “nice to meet you,” and you think you’ll see him again but you don’t and then you end up stalking him…whew…as I was saying…to recover from your craziness on a date, it doesn’t have to be that complicated. You have to learn to laugh at yourself. When I do something stupid, I usually call myself a moron…because I am. Instead of just clamming up or freaking out, I laugh at the situation, and then he does too. It’s a bit of a tension reliever and it’ll make him more comfortable with you too. It’ll make him see that yes, you’re “normal.” You do stupid things like normal people. You’re not perfect. If you freak out, then freak out about it, he’ll be freaked out, and think you’re not normal. Your oddities make your normal. They make you you. And that’s why he’ll love you…eventually.

So be happy you’re “normal,” remember to say “please,” and he’ll be asking you on many more dates to come. Just be wary of lettuce and lobsters.

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at

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