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Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > 45

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Easter Bunny Magic

When I was in college, I had the oh-so-lucky task of playing Easter Bunny. Yep, the Student Activities office needed an Easter Bunny, and I got suckered into it.

“You’re funny, and animated, and you’re be in a costume! No one will know I’ts you! Plus, we need the bunny to spend time with kids at the day care,” they told me.

Okay, I was sucked into it…into the bunny suit.

It was a cute bunny suit, and I even picked up a carrot from the cafeteria for effect. They gave me a basket of lollipops too. First, I put on the suit. Then, the boots. Then the head.

 

“Wow, this is kind of wobbly, I have to like turn my whole body to see anything,” I said.

“What?!” the three people helping me get into the costume yelled.

Nope, no one could hear a thing I was saying. Awesome.

One of my friends helped me around that day, and as I slowly sauntered outside, the heat already began to get to me. It was April, but one of those hot April days that makes it feel like summer already.

As soon as I stepped outside, there were all the kids.

“It’s the Easter Bunny! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Oh man, what had I gotten myself into?

Their teachers calmed them down and then one by one they were allowed to come up to me and have their picture taken with me while I tried to sustain a pose—my knees aching and sweat dripping down my face—and then I gave them a lollipop.

We had just about wrapped up there, when one little boy ran up to me and wrapped his arms around me.

“I love you, Easter Bunny!” he exclaimed.

He couldn’t see, but I was smiling widely, through the pouring sweat, under my giant Easter Bunny Head. I wasn’t allowed to talk, so I just nodded nicely and gave him a little pat on the head, and an extra piece of candy. The Easter Bunny felt very loved at that moment, and it made it all worthwhile.

Until my friend and I stood up and rounded the corner and had to face college kids.

“It’s the Easter Bunny!” yelled a group of girls, and they ran over to us.

As I muttered expletives under my bunny head, my friend giggled and got her camera ready, because the second part of the task was to go around campus and take pictures of the college students with the Easter Bunny — a nice send off before Easter Break. Yeah, real nice.

One girl hugged me so hard, she was going to find out real fast that it was not a man under that suit.

That was the difficulty in being the Easter Bunny — who knows what sex he is? He is seemingly an asexual creature. So when you have a real person in the suit, who has to remain mute, it is very difficult for males and females to decipher what you are, and it makes it very awkward for the wearer of the costume to deal with those who don’t know—and get a little too touchy feely.

The girls had a nice time molesting and groping the Easter Bunny as they posed for pictures, and then we moved on, my friend laughing all the way. I hit her, and told her I needed to stop. The heat was getting to me. I hid behind a tree and took my Bunny Head off.

“Man, it must be really hot in there,” she said, noticing I was now drenched.

“Yeah, a little, and that wasn’t so fun either,” I told her.

“Let’s go into the cafeteria, it’ll be cooler in there. Plus, there’ll be more people, then we can get it over with for you.”

That was the plan, so we went in, first conquering the food lines, where people go through and pick out their lunches. We saw a friend of ours who was involved in Student Activities, and told me how “great” I looked, and of course he just had to get a picture. Then he called over a gigantic basketball player—who basically looked like a super-sized kid—and said, “Don’t you want a picture with the Easter Bunny?”

Yeah, yeah, let’s get this over with.

Well this guy ran over and yelled, “The Easter Bunny is my favorite!”

He then wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up in the air, then posed for the picture. I was surprised, but then hysterically laughing under my bunny head. I guess you never know what to expect when you’re wearing a bunny suit.

But then we had to venture out into the seating — some more molestation by girls…and then guys. Because guys are more keen on things, and as I later found out, they could, “totally make out that the Easter Bunny had breasts.” Fantastic.

So it turned out that the baseball team had a game that day, and they all wanted a really big hug for good luck. So I did my job. I guess it was better than the softball team needing their hugs.

Finally, I settled down at the table of the boy I had a crush on. My friend maneuvered that one for me, and it just so happened the camera was out of film, so she had to run back and get some. So I sat at his table, but couldn’t say a word. He kept asking me why the Easter Bunny couldn’t speak, but I just shrugged, and playfully offered him my carrot. He laughed, but really, I was insanely nervous inside…the bunny suit of course. My friend finally came back and snapped the picture and we were on our way, but of course the whole way back we giggled like crazy about how I just had “lunch” with my “fake boyfriend.” Oh, to be 19 again.

So besides the sweat, molestation, and embarrassment, being the Easter Bunny does have its perks. So I gotta give the guy, or girl, credit. He can maneuver his way into spending time with his crushes, and that’s pretty cool—whether it be the Tooth Fairy or an Elf, I’m not sure. You just gotta learn to use that time right. I probably didn’t, but at the time, for me, I was just happy enough to be sitting across from him, because that was as far as it ever went. But it’s amazing what you can do when you’re “in costume.” You feel more free, and as if anything can happen. And if you carry a basket of lollipops, that helps too. Or it’s just creepy.

But if you pretend you have that costume on, that might help too. It can be scary to be yourself when you’re in certain situations—I know it is for me—but I also know that I can’t don a bunny costume every time I want to be a little braver or do whatever I want. Sometimes, you just have to think you’re braver than you are…or at least think, what would the Easter Bunny do?

Happy Easter everyone!



Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.


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